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By Anonymous - 24/06/2012 11:38 - Italy

Today, it was my boyfriend's grandfather's funeral and visitation. These things make me nervous, and not thinking, I made comments that included the words "killing", "dying", and "death". I'm a rubbish support system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 954

You deserved it 7 527

Being multilingual sucks sometimes

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 17:01 - Iraq - Baghdad

Today, in our microbiology lab, there's a machine called bacteria incubator, which translates to Arabic as "bacteria hugger." I envied the bacteria because it gets hugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 258

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 16/07/2023 06:00 - United States - Nampa

Today, the girl I really thought I had feelings for told me she kissed me on the cheek because I’m a sweet person, but she doesn’t want to be my partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 208

We're so proud of you

By strawberrypuff - 04/05/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent four years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the four hour ceremony is "too long." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 525

You deserved it 4 620

Hippies for life

By Anonymous - 10/04/2022 12:00

Today, rather than age gracefully my parents have decided they’re going to be the witch and wizard of our neighbourhood, meaning they grow herbs, redecorated the house atrociously, swapped their clothes for dresses and robes, and smoke questionable tobacco in wooden pipes. God they’re so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 1 060

Sociopath time

By i…… - 14/04/2022 14:00

Today, my son’s mother is dying. He told me he feels “nothing at all” because of it. The reason? “Sometimes she punished me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 209

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 29/07/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that when your flatmate admits she’s an exhibitionist and you say you’re OK with it, it doesn’t means she going to walk around naked like you hoped, it means she’s going to bring guys home and do them at times I’m guaranteed to “accidentally catch them.” Why couldn’t she do me instead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 320

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 02:00

Today, I met my father, who I hadn't seen since I was a baby, at Subway. He made me pay for his meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 189

You deserved it 292

Cynicism is exhausting

By Lonesome Traveler - 23/12/2024 00:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, some idiot kid teased and taunted me for weeping on my "already bad performance", recording it on his phone threatening to put it on social media. I was singing and playing the guitar, in front of my childhood sweetheart, and supposedly soon-to-be wife's grave. It was our song. I do this every year on this day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 129

By screwed - 08/08/2014 12:26 - Australia - Perth

Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 127

You deserved it 5 092

Bizarre love triangle

By JuliaKay14 - 24/07/2023 22:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I got a message from a former very close friend (with benefits) after telling him this morning that I couldn't talk to him anymore because I felt pressured to conform to his expectations in a way that hurt me. He wanted to tell me he broke up with the girl he abandoned things with me for. I'm not responding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 377

Girls' trip, baby!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my I told my girlfriend I was owed an explanation as to why I've been ghosted since her "Girls' trip" out of state. She said she just didn't want to deal with me being upset about her snapping a guy she spent the two days with, and they were all over each in a picture she tried to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 103

By nick92 - 15/10/2010 16:40 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's family approves of me, not because I'm friendly and intelligent, but because I'm an adequate addition to their gene pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 551

You deserved it 4 398

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 18:36 - United States

Today, I opened my email expecting to see messages from my friends and family wishing me a happy birthday, but there were none. There were Happy Birthday messages from Pizza Hut and Victoria's Secret, however. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 937

You deserved it 4 396

Double trouble

By Anonymous - 22/07/2023 18:00

Today, I had a nightmare in which my abuser came back into my life… but with gothy makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 99

Tense situation

By mother to be - 04/08/2014 13:20 - United States

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 987

You deserved it 7 099

By eminem blows cock - 15/06/2012 16:41 - Ireland - Kilflynn

Today, after having stayed up all night studying, all the coffee I'd drank to keep me awake hit my gut with a vengeance. I ended up missing two exams because I was emptying my bowels into the toilet all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 310

You deserved it 9 763

Bright idea

By theropod - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 086

You deserved it 2 176

Selfish tit

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 14:01

Today, I'm running on two hours sleep thanks to our new baby. My partner slept all night, and when I asked them to take over so I could have a nap, they ran to bed, saying that they needed to sleep. Why? Apparently, the baby noise woke them up "once or twice" and they needed the extra sleep more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 250

By nomorecookies - 06/08/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 651

You deserved it 3 828

Dragging it out

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 02:02

Today, I hadn’t seen my boyfriend since New Year’s Day, then we went out for lunch Valentine's Day and at the end of the date he didn’t even kiss me. He texted me at midnight tonight saying he sorry he’s a jerk and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 129

Good vacation?

By Yudith - 29/07/2023 10:00 - Canada - London

Today, I returned to work after two weeks of vacation without a working phone. While I was gone, a beloved former colleague died, two Court hearings got postponed because nobody could find the proof the documents were sent to the other party, and half the office went on vacation. Oh yeah, and my grandma died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 160

Soaked

By Jus' me - 30/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 453

By bad date - 13/06/2012 04:42 - United States - Bennet

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 3 757

Like spinning plates

By Anonymous - 08/04/2022 02:00

Today, I became the senior receptionist at my job, which is supposed to have three receptionists. The others all had life changes, so they're moving on, which is fair, but now I have to train new people. I've been here three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 112

By My_Cow_kiM - 28/04/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 475

You deserved it 5 622

By Teen With No Money - 03/08/2011 15:49 - United States

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 390

You deserved it 3 122

Bathtime

By Kerry - 22/02/2021 20:01 - Canada

Today, I was running water for a relaxing bath. There have been some problems with the town's water for a while now, so I was pleased when the water looked so clear. Right as I thought that, however, the water instantly changed from crystal clear to shit brown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 92

By Username - 02/08/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, it was a warm day out so I left my car windows slightly open while I was at work. One of the local bums apparently thought this was a perfect opportunity to use my open driver's side window as a barf receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 347

You deserved it 9 689

Bad dad

By So inappropriate - 09/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 780

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The Top

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered, "Goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 692

You deserved it 1 846

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 081

You deserved it 16 006

Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 841

You deserved it 2 580

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 258

You deserved it 36 433

Today, I was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on my lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 540

You deserved it 4 749

Today, my husband, who is proud of his 155 IQ, is depressed our son is becoming a typical football jock with an IQ only just into the triple digits. He even thinks I must have had an affair, because no way could someone as smart as him have produced such a blockhead with tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 234