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By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 12:43 - Australia

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 027

You deserved it 100 651

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 876

You deserved it 3 242

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 12:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 396

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 07:29 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 490

You deserved it 10 224

By Anonymous - 01/02/2017 16:00 - United States

Today, after closing down the gas station I work at, I went to unlock the door to the building. Turned out the lock broke and I was locked inside until my boss could get there to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 970

You deserved it 511

Mouthy

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Norco

Today, my son obviously got possessed by some red pill demon that made him think it was OK to mouth off to his mother and tell her she belongs in the kitchen. She knocked him flat on his ass so fast I don’t think even The Flash would’ve had time to intervene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 140

By Sickofbeingsick - 01/10/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 2 856

You dingdong!

By Anonymous - 15/11/2020 13:58

Today, I was copying an assignment from my friend and was feeling confident that I was gonna pass. I later found out I copied his name too, so the teacher failed us both. He won't talk to me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 2 366

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 01:33 - United States

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 975

You deserved it 28 407

Egg IRL

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 05:01 - United States

Today, I was eating out with my family. I have 2 brothers. Our waitress comes and says, "Look at those 3 handsome young men." I didn't think of it until my 5-year-old brother shouted, " She's a girl!'" FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 108

By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 18:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 670

You deserved it 6 007

Coming in last

By coriander - 05/03/2022 00:01

Today, my evil twin sister was preparing for her prom. When I saw her trying on her dress, she looked at me and said, “First to get a boyfriend, a prom date, and into college. Maybe you’ll die first?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 103

By Cottagecheeseha - 20/08/2012 04:03 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 680

You deserved it 6 802

Gross

By gotanewmouse - 26/09/2011 10:37 - New Zealand

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 041

You deserved it 6 808

Distracted

By Anonymous - 11/02/2022 12:00

Today, I was having a deep conversation with a woman at a bus stop about philosophy. Little did I know, her boyfriend was rummaging through my purse while she kept my focus. I’m a PhD candidate in philosophy, and it was the best conversation I’d had it months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 251

Daddy issues

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 76

By sumerflame07 - 01/12/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, the elderly lady in front of me had forgotten to pay for her milk. In the spirit of the season, I paid for it and wished her happy holidays. She snatched the milk and gave me an ugly look. Then huffed at me before stomping off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 381

You deserved it 3 808

The Terminator

By Manny Managerson - 23/11/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, a furious woman stormed into my job, demanding to know why I fired her precious baby boy. I explained that watching porn on the clock is grounds for termination. She screamed that I was lying about him and that she’ll see me in court for slandering him. I had to call the cops to make her leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 87

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 162

You deserved it 3 073

By Fml37 - 20/12/2009 05:13 - Canada

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 4 755

Read the room

By Mortified concert-cougher - 29/04/2023 18:00

Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 140

Who TF Did I (almost) Marry?

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to get married. I called it off only 20 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to begin because I saw my fiance punch his own mother in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 78

By what have i done with my life - 21/07/2013 17:46 - United States - Akron

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 660

You deserved it 6 040

By chill - 17/12/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my grandpa sent me a letter apologizing for not congratulating me about my graduation last spring. Too bad I don't graduate until May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 646

You deserved it 4 293

Far out, man

By crazyjohnny - 01/06/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got an F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 383

You deserved it 7 984

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

Today, my husband gave our son the sex talk. Maybe it’s because we never talk openly about it, but my husband is into some racy shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 1 005

By Chansus10 - 20/10/2014 15:03 - United States - Greendale

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 577

You deserved it 2 960

By Lisa - 19/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, after being dumped by my boyfriend of two years, I poured my heart out to my dad. He nodded and looked sympathetic throughout. Afterwards, I asked him what I should do. He replied, "How the hell should I know?" and awkwardly left my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 949

You deserved it 5 732

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 365

You deserved it 6 087

Disproportionate response

By Anonymous - 09/03/2022 14:00

Today, mom caught me watching YouTube while doing schoolwork. I'm grounded, and not allowed to do anything but schoolwork. She got mad, EVEN THOUGH I was doing schoolwork while watching videos, maintaining a 98% in my class. Now I'm grounded longer, because I'm supposed to do schoolwork and nothing but. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 355

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The Top

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 923

You deserved it 4 728

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 700

You deserved it 67 942

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 128

You deserved it 5 385

Today, while driving home, a jeep hit the back of my car. When I got home and told my boyfriend, he acted concerned but still wanted to know what was for dinner. I think I have whiplash, can't stop shaking from the shock and he's practically already waiting at the dinner table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 345

Today, it's my birthday, and the only male attention I've had in months is when the dog greeted me with his red rocket out and his tail wagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 220

Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 293