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By Girl With a Cold - 08/02/2012 18:46

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 839

You deserved it 2 689

By Rye - 19/02/2009 03:51 - United States

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 860

You deserved it 17 180

Jumpy

By bunny - 12/10/2022 12:00

Today, as always, my mom slams every door she closes. I faint when I hear loud sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 198

By MillyMan - 07/02/2012 17:58 - United States

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 938

You deserved it 35 483

It's not what you think!

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 22:00

Today, I woke up and my date I'd had the best sex ever with last night had found the sex doll I hid in a cupboard. She'd left a note calling me a creep, and to lose her number. It was a prop for my brother's stag do last week, I’ve never had sex with it, I’m just waiting for the recycling bins on Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 435

Nice sheen

By Vicki - 23/07/2021 14:03 - Canada

Today, I accidentally used wood stain instead of hairspray. Surprisingly, it doesn't come out that easily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 801

Slipping

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 20:01

Today, I called one of my coworkers to ask him where he was, because I needed him to come downstairs. After 2 minutes of yelling on the phone to come downstairs, I realized I'd called the wrong person, and was actually on the phone with my ex-boyfriend, who took me 6 months to get over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 1 074

Thanks Dad

By Anonymous - 19/10/2022 06:00

Today, and every time I want to try something new, my dad starts pointing out why it’s a stupid idea, or how it will obviously go wrong, and gets himself so worked up that in the end he’s just shouting at me while I cower, yet it also makes him mad when I just sit in my room with no hobbies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 99

Creepy crawlies

By Cockroachphobic - 04/04/2020 14:00

Today, I found out that the small bugs I've been blowing off my pillow all year are in fact baby cockroaches. I discover this when I found two full grown ones crawling around and decided to Google it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 929

By dammit - 01/02/2012 08:22 - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 367

You deserved it 2 414

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 02:48 - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 224

You deserved it 4 264

By beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 151

You deserved it 4 891

Unlucky in love

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 16:00 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, it was supposed to be my first date with a girl I've been speaking to for three months. Last night, she revealed that she's still married, that her husband is "not so bad", and then confessed it all to him and blocked me. It was gonna be my first date in six years, after the last one stalked me across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 166

By the forgotten one - 30/01/2012 03:01 - United States

Today, my grandfather sent everyone in my family an email thanking them for the photo we got him. I'd bought the frame, edited the picture, and delivered it to him. All everyone else did was show up and complain while the picture was being taken. I'm the only one who didn't get a thank you email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 064

You deserved it 2 338

Repair this

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 06:01

Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 58

Rick Astley did nothing wrong

By Rolling with Rick - 27/10/2022 10:00

Today, I was getting my hair dyed in a salon and suddenly 'Never Gonna Give You Up' started playing in the background. Rickrolling isn't common where I live, so I just took some heavy psychic damage while everyone remained blissfully unaware. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 813

Chilly season

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, I'm neither tall, nor do I have disproportionately long legs, but I have never found a pair of leggings that actually covers my entire calves, which is less than ideal if the reason you buy leggings in the first place is to wear them under your pants in winter so you don’t get cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 07:50 - Australia - Sydney

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 992

You deserved it 3 616

By coolkid111 - 27/03/2011 00:26 - United States

Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 422

You deserved it 40 026

By guitar_chick7 - 20/08/2009 08:54 - Australia

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 546

You deserved it 47 945

By LonelyPorkChop - 18/12/2013 09:30 - Australia

Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 061

You deserved it 8 784

TMI

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 10:39 - Australia

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 7 599

By Laundrylady - 18/08/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, I was at the laundromat doing my clothes when I noticed a cute guy next to me. I tried to be a ninja and sneak my sock into his basket so I could start a conversation with him. He saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 481

You deserved it 71 548

We just don't see you in that way

By Noname - 09/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still available. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 725

You deserved it 4 842

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 00:14 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 859

You deserved it 2 946

By lil_munchkinjen - 09/02/2009 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 511

You deserved it 5 939

Armchair art critic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2024 16:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I reported one of our college professors for openly displaying pornography on his office door. There was an investigation. He works in the Arts department and claims it's "photographic art." The campus agreed. I got formally reprimanded. What is "art" about explicit photos of naked children? FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 280

By wth? - 13/12/2013 15:10 - United Kingdom - Rotherham

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 881

You deserved it 9 287

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 06:37 - United States

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 260

You deserved it 22 156

America, **** yeah

By BrazilianGal - 12/08/2021 02:01

Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 182

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The Top

Today, my biology professor was giving a lecture to everyone and used me as an example. For what? Traits men are repulsed by in potential mates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 844

You deserved it 3 643

Today, I had to be an observer for a drug test at work. Me and two others got to watch 130 guys take a piss, and then leave work two hours later than everyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 200

You deserved it 2 802

Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 595

You deserved it 439

Today, my recent ex-boyfriend stopped by my house with a well-dressed man. He reached into his pocket and handed me records that "prove" he never cheated on me. Oh, and the man next to him? His lawyer, who gave me a summons to court over payment for the items I smashed when I dumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 907

You deserved it 10 385

Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 504

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 147