The Top

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Jealous much?

By Ruthie - 05/07/2023 18:00

Today, I can no longer talk to my best friend thanks to his insecure, overbearing girlfriend of 3 months. We never talk about anything that crosses boundaries, and it's actually him who initiates the conversations. She’s forced him to block my number and social media accounts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 194

By scaredscreenless - 16/08/2011 19:27 - United States

Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 697

You deserved it 27 387

By denise - 23/11/2009 05:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 991

You deserved it 4 970

By HungryStudent - 20/08/2014 18:59 - Puerto Rico - Carolina

Today, my 24-year-old, unemployed brother stole all of my food money and went out with his friends. His punishment from our parents? He has to pay me back when he gets a job. My stomach has to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 3 233

Silver linings

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a really bad sunburn on my face while at the lake. Not to worry, though; my friends made me feel better by saying, "It takes the attention away from your acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 084

You deserved it 4 072

Annoying and creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, my coworker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 332

You deserved it 2 803

By Guess - 21/11/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend of nine months that depression runs in my family and I think the reason I've been flipping shit so much lately may be that I am depressed. Not five minutes later he decided a break would be "the best thing for us right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 384

You deserved it 9 061

Bad day

By hopefulanonymous - 20/11/2009 16:01 - United States

Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 152

You deserved it 35 136

By airborne - 06/05/2009 01:11 - United States

Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 184

You deserved it 17 627

By Sarah - 19/10/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, I finally quit the job that I've been complaining about. Before I could tell my husband, he informed me that he had been laid off, and was thankful we still had my income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 693

You deserved it 17 281

Receptacle

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 02:01

Today, I felt sick at work and tried to run to the bathroom with my hand covering my mouth, but saw a garbage can and removed my hand to let it loose. I forgot to remove my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 249

Love is…

By Valentina - 17/07/2023 22:00

Today, my husband hosted dinner tonight and once again made deflating comments and called me “r*tarded sp*c” in front of his friends. They all laughed, while I had a knot in my throat. I have to stay married to him for another year and a half or else I’ll lose my green card and get deported. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 412

Name names

By James - 30/03/2022 04:00

Today, and every time I try my hand at content creating, I get 0 appreciation or recognition, beyond bigger content creators stealing my work and ideas as their own, and seeing them get the many 10s of thousands of views I could have gotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 287

Testing it out

By WtfDidIPayYouForThen - 02/06/2013 10:53 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I asked my dermatologist why my acne has been getting worse, despite following her directions and spending hundreds of dollars on medicine. She just shrugged and told me they can't actually cure my acne. However, they can prescribe me a bunch of stuff and hope one works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 252

You deserved it 5 564

By ducklover1 - 19/06/2012 03:31 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I got to see a waterfall up close. Too bad it was in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 684

You deserved it 2 178

By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 04:28 - United States

Today, I proudly gave my grandma a picture I had drawn for her. She didn't seem thrilled with it, and afterwards the rest of my family seemed upset. Nobody could fathom why I drew grandma a picture of a graveyard for her 85th birthday. It was suppose to be a bridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 986

You deserved it 6 898

By Anonymous - 03/06/2019 06:33

Today, I began writing thank-you cards for the gifts I got for my 21st birthday. To one set of grandparents, I wrote, "Thank you for the dancing chicken toy," and to the others I wrote, "Thank you for the $10 check." Those were the only gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 269

Doss house

By Dane - 16/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was demoted at my job for sleeping in the store when I'd have a few after closing. Apparently, they would rather have me drive drunk than do the responsible thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 1 769

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 23:44 - United States

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 560

You deserved it 5 906

Welcome to the machine

By Piss Off - 03/04/2022 02:00 - United Kingdom - Isleworth

Today, I went for an interview in the big city, with an expensive commute. Despite being an office-based management role requiring years of experience, they only offered minimum wage. After explaining it wouldn't be acceptable and tried to negotiate, they kicked me out and had the balls to call me "ungrateful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 111

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

By I want to forget too... - 03/08/2026 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 60

By motherlover - 05/08/2014 04:40 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 318

You deserved it 4 375

By thanksmom - 01/05/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 097

You deserved it 4 465

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 018

You deserved it 91 977

Deer in headlights

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 154

By Mel - 05/10/2015 04:21 - France - Toulouse

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 64

Honey pot

By DeadnGone01 - 05/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, this hot girl sent me a friend request. I accepted it and began to chat her up. She asked me if I was single. I told her I was, and proceeded to arrange a date for some drinks. Moments later, my wife sends me a screenshot of my conversation with the girl, with the caption, “Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 2 753

By Tragic - 27/04/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 298

You deserved it 6 842

Overpowered

By Anonymous - 23/07/2014 16:01 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years-old and got beat up by a group of 10 year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 822

You deserved it 15 602

By psuedodragon - 21/05/2013 17:20 - Canada - Regina

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 934

You deserved it 7 156

psuedodragon tells us more.

psuedodragon 23

Tuesday 21 May 2013 23:19

Funny you should mention zombie attacks... The reason I was late was because I slept through my alarm after a particularly intense, long weekend, zombie survival prep camp (basically a lot of running in between short classes on survival skills for three days). I know I shouldn't have been speeding, but it was important enough that the $135 would have been worth paying... y'know, if they hadn't forgotten to tell me it was cancelled...

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The Top

The Top

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 491

You deserved it 10 102

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed to me in front of his whole family with the ring his mother had helped him pick out. Two hours later, I found emails of nudes from another women that had been sent to him a week prior, on his phone. Our flight for home leaves in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 951

You deserved it 1 658

Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 190

You deserved it 3 051

Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 829

You deserved it 12 929

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 107

You deserved it 5 002

Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 577