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OP here. What a surprise, my first published FML! Being a Mexican restaurant, all of the employees there were Mexican. I try to keep up on my Spanish and wanted to know the translation. This one turned out to be rather easy to remember. Cheers!

By Lili - 27/06/2017 21:00 - France

Today, I got into a car accident. I hit a pole in the middle of the night trying to avoid a car that was coming at me head on. Actually, it was just the reflection of my own headlights in the windows of a bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 2 286

By oh_lordy_me - 24/09/2015 17:53 - United States - Chicago

Today, my cat still loves me too much. He schedules his dumps for when I'm doing my makeup in the bathroom so he can stay with me. I either have to suffer the noxious odor or be late for work. This is a daily thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 039

You deserved it 3 317

oh_lordy_me tells us more.

oh_lordy_me 18

Saturday 26 September 2015 3:39

OP here! I would love to move his litter box but in a one bedroom apartment it's pretty useless, unless I want the smell in the bedroom or living room/kitchen! As for shutting the door, I probably should! Took me a little while to realize what he was doing, since this is a recent habit of his. The little turd (pun intended) used to chill with me as I was getting ready and him meowing outside of the door is annoying as hell. But, yeah, all in all, I vacate the premises for a few minutes, light a candle and all is good :)

By Anonymous - 23/06/2017 04:00

Today, I asked my friend to hand in my homework for me since I have tonsillitis. She thought it would be funny to draw a big heart on it with my teacher's name inside, which she then handed in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 214

You deserved it 606

Red handed

By grandpa porn - 28/08/2017 01:30

Today, while I was walking to the kitchen, I heard someone on the TV moaning. As I made my way down the stairs, I saw my grandfather quickly change the channel and lean forward. I'm 90% sure I caught my grandpa watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 761

You deserved it 385

By Munch - 12/09/2017 04:00 - Australia - Mordialloc

Today, my short-tempered, alcoholic boyfriend proudly showed me the rifle he bought. This guy regularly swears at his own sneezes and often flies into fits of rage because it's hard to get his shoe on. Time to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 329

You deserved it 909

By whoops - 02/09/2016 14:49 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 638

You deserved it 6 169

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 942

You deserved it 561

By mrtoolate - 19/06/2016 08:58 - India - Pune

Today, after a lifetime of being single, my parents finally found me a nice, intelligent, pretty girl. I was really excited, until she backed out on me when she found out our star signs don't match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 935

You deserved it 1 751

By oh no - 06/06/2016 15:45 - United States - Rochester

Today, I set my phone down at work in the back while I helped a customer. When I came back it was gone. It took me twenty minutes to find, duct taped to the ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 165

You deserved it 3 078

Plebs need not apply.

By chels - 17/07/2018 19:00

Today, when my new boyfriend told me he liked playing games, he meant a 60" TV with a professional gaming chair in the middle of his living room, and 48-hour gaming marathons where he totally ignores me, refuses to sleep or shower, and only has energy drinks and cheerios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 929

You deserved it 888

Believe me!

By DieuEstUnHomme - 03/02/2016 15:44 - France - Reims

Today, while on the tramway with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 765

You deserved it 2 479

Ewwwwwwww

By Warriorwizzle - 15/12/2018 04:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today, I had to move down to the third floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. The rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I'm not okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 121

You deserved it 239

By Serenadipity - 22/12/2015 03:37 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old brother told us his girlfriend is pregnant. He was taught in his abstinence-only sex ed that condoms don't prevent pregnancy. My parents are blaming her pregnancy on me, for not telling him the truth about sex, because parents giving their kids the sex talk is "too awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 677

You deserved it 1 907

Serenadipity tells us more.

Serenadipity 11

Wednesday 23 December 2015 1:02

31- If I had any inkling of what was going on, I would have tried to do something about it. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend, let alone that he was having sex.

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 19:27 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 019

You deserved it 5 166

By Anonymous - 06/04/2017 02:00

Today, they played Nickelback at our school dance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 369

You deserved it 1 499

How could you?

By failing - 28/04/2017 01:00 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, after searching frantically for my economics notes for a week, I asked my friend to send me pictures of hers. I recognised my handwriting on the pictures she sent me and she admitted she'd "borrowed" them. The exam is in three days and she refuses to meet me and give my notes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 575

You deserved it 379

By BlueSteele220 - 16/06/2017 10:02

Today, after driving 15 hours to enjoy a 6-day family vacation with my in-laws, my husband and I found out that, even though we spent $600 like everyone else, we are sleeping on a pullout couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 682

You deserved it 512

BlueSteele220 tells us more.

BlueSteele220 31

Friday 16 June 2017 0:57

Hey OP here. actually it is a nice cabin. my sister -in- law and get husband rented out another cabin when they arrived so we wouldn't have to sleep on the couch. We would have for them, the other siblings made the arrangements. Turns out the couch is cooler than the room we have, but we also wanted intimacy..