The Top

My skirt was knee-length and flowy (Im am artist and am therefore not required to dress like a square) and yes i was in-between waxings so it wasnt a jungle down there...just...neglected as I said haha And I dont think Im gonna get that job...you shoulda seen her face!

Stay safe

By Molly Lee - 16/10/2020 20:01 - United States

Today, after going to the ophthalmologist, I got some really cute glasses. When I got home, my dad saw them and told me that when he was in high school, they called girls with those glasses BC. When I asked what BC stood for, he said, "Birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 179

Notice me

By bb. - 29/12/2021 16:59

Today, I spent my entire shift fantasizing about being in a car wreck and getting hospitalized, just so my mother would show me any love whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 221

Great start

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 270

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 610

You deserved it 6 849

By Zanovitch - 13/08/2013 20:19 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 101

You deserved it 4 281

By Heavy D - 06/09/2012 13:45 - United States

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 2 021

We could be heroes…

By ally - 23/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I was changing a wound bandage on one of my patient’s buttocks. I forgot to initial and date the bandage per hospital regulation. As I kneeled in to write, the patient let out the biggest loudest fart directly in my face. The worst part? Some of it sprayed out, some on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 448

You deserved it 188

By anonymous - 05/09/2012 04:44 - Australia

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 241

You deserved it 10 278

By kte - 30/12/2009 10:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 346

You deserved it 2 669

They're probably right

By FML1994 - 14/06/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, my family was discussing the new rules of the house we are moving into. They told my sister she couldn't have any boys in her room. They didn't tell me I couldn't have any girls in my room. Even my parents think I can't get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 309

You deserved it 4 995

By headache - 04/05/2019 14:00

Today, I have a new office-mate. I'm not particularly sensitive to odours but he wears so much cologne, I nearly throw up every time he walks in. Only 8 more hours till fresh air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 169

Stubborn

By Anonymous - 27/10/2020 22:58

Today, my boyfriend accused me of making an FML about him. I let him know that if I were going to make an FML, it would be about how he doesn’t flush the toilet after he uses it. He responded by not flushing the toilet again this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 15/11/2014 00:11 - United States - Macungie

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied, "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 898

You deserved it 3 174

Sexy time

By hunchback of notre bite - 09/08/2013 22:23 - Korea, Republic of

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 498

You deserved it 7 427

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 269

You deserved it 3 440

By FuglyBetty - 13/11/2014 16:44 - Norway - Arendal

Today, my dad finally added me on Facebook, When I looked through his photos, I quickly noticed he'd heavily photoshopped the photos I'm in to make me look prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 761

You deserved it 3 195

By Zlo98 - 08/08/2013 05:12 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 779

You deserved it 3 744

Zlo98 tells us more.

Zlo98 7

Thursday 8 August 2013 19:02

Just to clarify it was my nephew who broke his arm. After it happened we asked my cousin to leave and my brother took my nephew to the hospital. The rest of the ceremony went as planned and my brother and nephew made it back in time for the reception. My cousin doesn't usually drink so it was a surprise when he showed up drunk but he has apologized and everything has been smoothed over.