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Idiot

By Father of a moron - 04/02/2026 09:00

Today, I got a call from my son's school. He was in the nurse office puking. I picked him up and the dumbass said he'd eaten one of those stupid "WORLD'S HOTTEST SNACK" things and it made him sick. Idiot. No sympathy whatsoever from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 110

Nice imagery, thanks

By rockergirl99 - 25/02/2026 20:00

Today, my husband got pissed drunk and told his friends, “My wife let herself go after having the baby. I have to roll her around in flour and find the wet spot when I hit it.” I’m three weeks postpartum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 65

It's all downhill from here

By That guy - 27/02/2026 15:00

Today, I’m so over this shite. I’ve been on the hunt for a job for 2 years. I have 30 years of management experience in multiple fields. I get interviews but never get hired. I even apply for entry level jobs and still can’t get hired. Prior to COVID, I’d never interviewed for a job I didn’t get. This economy sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 89

Romance is dead

By Sad - 01/03/2026 09:00

Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 66

I keep mine hidden

By Hiddengurlnomoar - 06/04/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I confronted my boyfriend of 8 months about him posting our date nights sitting at a table and having drinks, yet I don’t appear in a single frame. He said, “I just don’t post people.” He posts friends, family, and colleagues in pictures all the time, but when it comes to me, he “doesn’t post people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 111

Mouthy

By Anonymous - 11/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Norco

Today, my son obviously got possessed by some red pill demon that made him think it was OK to mouth off to his mother and tell her she belongs in the kitchen. She knocked him flat on his ass so fast I don’t think even The Flash would’ve had time to intervene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 139

Chemical balls

By Mac (29m) - 27/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I'm aging, so it’s clear my ball skin has got more rough, and I can't even shave anymore without bad razor burn. Well, I tried Nair for the first time. My balls are now severely chemically burned and blistered. It was just 4 minutes of Nair! I was finally getting my sex drive back after a divorce, so I was trying to be ready just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 195

Happy V-Day

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I got a DM from an unknown sender saying “Happy Anniversary.” It was my 11th grade boyfriend and the “Anniversary” was of us losing our virginity to each other. This happened over 20 years ago! I’ve blocked his creepy ass more times than I can count, but he just won’t stay away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 43

Chadvice

By I'm Sophia - 11/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my husband was giving marriage advice to a friend, while I eavesdropped. I heard, "You want more sex? Let her see you flirting with other girls. Sophia sees me tease a cashier or some shit, the second we get home, she's putting on sexy lingerie and fucking my brains out. It's magic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 201

Red flag

By Anonymous - 17/06/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got turned down by a woman I like because she said a man in his mid 30’s who’s not already married with kids is a major red flag. I would very much like to be married with kids but it’s just never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 57

Brainrot

By Anonymous - 21/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I called my new boyfriend by my ex’s name. Twice. In the same conversation. I’m having trouble saying anything while looking at him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 500

Any advice?

By aw jeez - 25/06/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 112

Modern love

By Angang - 07/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend of three months only posts me on his Close Friends stories instead of his main stories, because he’s afraid of hurting his close female friend who he'd put in the friendzone. Apparently, she can’t stand him moving on with me. He values her opinion more than his relationship with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 117

This is fine

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was dealing with my nightmares quite efficiently by drinking right before I go to sleep, presto, no nightmares and no problems when I woke up. My girlfriend decided to make a whole issue of it by telling my parents, who planned an intervention and want me to waste time seeing a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 625

Nostalgia for a time that never existed

By Anonymous - 27/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I woke up on my day off as a family man. Yesterday I played an AI game where I went back to my college days in the 2000s. I recreated those days as they were, and it brought back many memories. The problem? The game let me create the perfect girlfriend. I regret dating my now ex-wife back then more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 509

Woowoo alert!

By Anonymous - 01/08/2025 09:00 - France - Nantes

Today, as a student in a science preparatory class and a geology enthusiast, I walked into a rare stone shop. A saleswoman was praising the healing properties of a piece of malachite to a customer. Curious, I looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh! Raw copper ore!" I got banned from the shop. Occupational hazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 110

Wiped out

By myassisburnins - 31/08/2025 15:00 - India - Indore

Today, for the first time in ages, I had to go twice. At noon, after finishing my shit I reached for the jet spray, only to find out that the water was out until morning due to motor maintenance. I ended up using a newspaper. Only review: you guys in America & Europe really have it hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 283

EXPLAIN YOURSELF

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 03:00

Today, I was summoned by the big boss and I was bricking myself waiting in his waiting room, wondering what job he wanted me to do, or if I’m getting fired. Turns out he heard I watch a lot of anime and wanted me to teach him about it so he can talk to his teenage daughter about her interests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 82

Dick move

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 22:00

Today, my wife insisted on getting burgers at like 11:58, two minutes before the place closed, which was a dick move. As she’s placing her order, I clearly heard the guy in the back going, “For fuck's sake…” as he restarted the grill. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he spit in her fries, honestly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 94

Enough!

By PoisonIvy - 26/10/2025 12:00

Today, everything I touch goes wrong or into the trash. Whatever I do at work, I screw up somehow (in new ways every time) and get blamed. I worked for months on something, only for it to be scrapped. I just feel like I should give up on everything, including life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 100

Rash decision

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 20:00

Today, while looking for some self care, my cousin and I found a recipe for homemade face masks. We were vulnerable enough to try it and ended up with bright red faces instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 340

Moody git

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 22:00

Today, trying to be nice, I replaced my husband's old falling apart arm chair with a new one, same brand, same material, same colour, except this one also reclines, has a built in reading light and a USB port to charge his iPad. He prefers his old one and has been in a mood all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 365

Showtime!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 09:00

Today, my daughter decided to make popcorn and for some reason she thought the bag of seeds was for one portion's worth, so she poured the whole damn bag into our popcorn maker and filled half the kitchen floor. It now smells like a cinema lobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 116

Won't someone think of the landlords?

By Broke - 27/12/2025 12:00

Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 68

Lighting in a bottle

By Anonymous - 17/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have an amazing girlfriend. She’s smart, funny, educated, gets along with my friends and family, but she’s such a snooze in the sack, it makes me miss my psycho ex. That woman was a toxic mess of a person but she could do things that would make a porn star blush. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 354

Bad trip

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 15:00

Today, after I flew 16 hours across the world to see my girlfriend, on the fifth day of the holiday we broke up because she ended up telling me she "can't do distance." After all those hours of flying, we spent the last 3 days in the hotel room mostly crying, and I asked her face to face, "Why did you break me?" She left; I'm broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 101

Corporate policy gone wild

By Fatasfk - 20/02/2026 12:00

Today, I found out I was overlooked for a promotion because apparently I don’t have the same body type as the other girls on that unit. This explains why I’m always cropped or completely left out when they post group photos on the company website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 96

Priorities

By L - 01/03/2026 12:00

Today, my girlfriend ended things. We'd had issues because of my communication skills and her confidence, but we were working on it. The last straw? That I couldn't stay with her one night because I suddenly had to go home and take care of my sick mother. She then asked to talk and said I was neglecting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 78

On the ropes

By Nicky - 24/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm in bed pretending to sleep because I don't want to see my husband. He's manipulative and a jerk to me some times. I just don't want to deal with him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 173

Touchdown

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 09:00

Today, I excitedly announced that I made captain of the football team. My stepdad told me to shut up and not rub it in. He's a failed high school football player himself, and here I was thinking that we were so close, he would be so proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 54

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The Top

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 562

You deserved it 5 029

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 093

You deserved it 11 109

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 588

You deserved it 2 666

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 323

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 5 016

Today, I crashed my brother's car. All my friends know about this and not a single person has ask if I'm OK, even my dad and brother don't seem to be worried about me. Only my mother and I are sad because I don't know how to pay for a new car, the old one is in pieces. Thank god I'm alive but maybe dead would've been better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 397