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By Anonymous - 17/04/2015 19:50 - Argentina

Today, my boss showed me a two-page letter from a customer, complaining about me because I couldn't honor a coupon that expired in 2009. He agreed that I did the right thing by refusing it, but said it would be a black mark on my record anyway due to the complaint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 1 951

Bigmouth

By Anonymous - 26/01/2012 03:54 - United States

Today, my friend showed me a creepy piece of artwork he'd drawn. I laughed and said that it would give me nightmares, meaning it as a compliment. Turns out, this one was in honor of his dead grandmother, who'd raised him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 777

You deserved it 10 448

By Anon - 28/12/2012 08:14 - United States - Southbury

Today, I was racing my friends to the car for shotgun in the parking lot at night. I opened the passenger door of the car to find an old lady staring at me. It was the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 308

You deserved it 35 624

By asdf - 02/02/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 358

You deserved it 2 828

By Liv - 29/10/2013 22:09 - United Kingdom - Great Bookham

Today, my mother was talking about a holiday she went on this time last year. She turned to me to say, "You would've loved it, it's a shame you couldn't come". I was there. It was just the two of us on holiday together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 907

You deserved it 2 809

By BeccaRaye - 11/03/2016 18:19

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, only to witness a woman with her shirt pulled up giving herself a sink bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 374

You deserved it 1 533

BeccaRaye tells us more.

BeccaRaye 19

Saturday 12 March 2016 4:32

actually I do lol

By archer - 20/11/2008 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend who has just returned from his 3 month placement abroad cancelled our date. Why? Because there was a match England vs Germany. A friendly match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 714

You deserved it 4 242

By Noname - 29/10/2008 10:09 - Slovenia

Today, they finally took my braces off. 7 hours later I fell off my bike and chipped my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 545

You deserved it 6 412

By Anonymous - 21/02/2016 21:48 - United States - Merrimack

Today, I found out that my friends only hang out with me so they can play with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 786

You deserved it 2 431

By trying2breathe - 22/11/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 397

You deserved it 3 043

Freaky family

By tkoester - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Fairfield

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 396

You deserved it 1 638

By demispark - 24/04/2013 14:10 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I was leaving work when I realized I had forgotten my bag on my desk. As I went back to get it, I overheard my co-workers talking about "last night's office party." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 330

You deserved it 4 857

By fire starter - 16/08/2015 04:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 163

You deserved it 2 109

Wandering

By kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 921

You deserved it 3 638

By I write sins not other people's essays - 12/05/2016 03:13 - United States - King George

Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 110

You deserved it 1 066

By jessierules93 - 07/12/2013 05:58 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 834

You deserved it 4 772

jessierules93 tells us more.

jessierules93 11

Friday 13 December 2013 4:52

Lol thank everyone! My iPhone wasn't in a case but surprisingly it's fine! But the wall, not so much. I kinda put a hole in it haha

By aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 453

You deserved it 9 222

TMI FML

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 813

You deserved it 3 098

By lip - 24/12/2008 08:40 - France

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 453

You deserved it 75 918

By Soline - 08/12/2008 12:05 - France

Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 268

You deserved it 9 066

By ButtWorthSingingBout - 01/01/2015 18:16 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 173

You deserved it 5 594

By sorejecteditmakesmewannacry - 29/08/2013 10:44 - France - Poissy

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 194

You deserved it 3 828

By my name is sarah - 21/01/2016 03:48 - United States - Midland

Today, my mom called me by her favorite TV show character's name. Again. This is the eighth time this week. I'm an only child, and I'm 15. I thought she had my name down pat by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 1 412

Soooooo cute

By Anonymous - 21/12/2015 14:56 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 149

You deserved it 2 162

By WIIslave - 14/12/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor to get a pulled arm muscle checked. I told him I had been bowling, and it had just started to hurt badly. He said it was normal for a man of my age (35) to pull a muscle when lifting a ball of 12-15 pounds. I then told him it was on my son's Wii. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 29 039

It wasn't me, officer

By wrongcar - 03/11/2009 18:00 - United States

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 411

You deserved it 2 533

By apparentnerd - 31/10/2009 17:32 - United States

Today, my sister is dressing up as a nerd for Halloween. She's using my clothes for the costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 710

You deserved it 7 893

By Anonymous - 26/07/2015 22:43 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 23 428

You deserved it 2 211

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 17:42 - Zambia

Today, my dad drunkenly confessed that the reason he never gave me the sex talk was because he figured that I'm too weird-looking and socially awkward to ever get laid. He's right, all too right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 226

You deserved it 2 401

By 987564 - 22/02/2009 07:24 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 697

You deserved it 11 414

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The Top

Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 635

You deserved it 1 849

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 718

You deserved it 42 939

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 893

You deserved it 4 636

Today, I unclogged a toilet. With my hand. For the second time this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 911

You deserved it 16 846

Today, I was planning to ask a guy at school out since I had mustered up the confidence to finally tell him how I really felt. I ended up puking on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 008

You deserved it 368

Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 103