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This is going to end well

By awkward. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 813

You deserved it 4 731

By nikkih_06 - 04/12/2014 05:20 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 851

You deserved it 2 316

nikkih_06 tells us more.

nikkih_06 16

Thursday 4 December 2014 20:55

I was demoted from part time to causal part time, which requires that I work less then 20 hours a week. And I only get commission if I go over my goal.

By moosemay - 14/01/2016 15:05 - Germany - Dittelbrunn

Today, my husband taught our son how to pee while standing. His aim is as poor as my husband's, but I guess now they can blame their mess on each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 573

You deserved it 1 818

Timber!

By fucking SUCKS let's do it LIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE! - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 386

You deserved it 2 140

By Anonymous - 13/10/2014 15:42 - Australia - Burnside

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with our crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 072

You deserved it 3 891

Fellas, is it gay to date a woman?

By dykerino - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 174

You deserved it 7 718

By shaft2112 - 03/12/2015 20:19 - Germany - Emsdetten

Today, I was walking on my crutches towards the bus through the rain. The bus driver looked into my eyes, punching the button to close the doors while I was still a few meters away. As he drove off, he kept his eyes on me, while I had to wait for another 15 minutes for the next bus in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 1 454

By kaitlintaylor - 07/11/2010 21:24 - United States

Today, my family went to a football game. It was a little cold, but then it started to rain. I wasn't dressed for rain and I'd left my umbrella in the car. My dad wouldn't let us leave our seats for the whole game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 658

You deserved it 5 252

Blazing Saddles

By Jen - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while on the phone with a client at work, I was planning on saying either "Yeah." or "Uh-huh." Without thinking, I combined the two and ended up saying "Yee-hah," like a cowboy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 014

You deserved it 33 958

By dirtytoes - 06/11/2015 14:27 - United States - Houston

Today, I found a diaper in the parking lot. It's been raining all morning. This was the wrong day to wear flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 332

You deserved it 4 025

Smart

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 16:56 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 677

You deserved it 3 224

Manchild

By lilshoobydoo14 - 15/10/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 4 344

Sad sad sad

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 466

You deserved it 8 097

By daidax_238 - 25/10/2016 16:33

Today, my parents are forcing me to go to an insanely conservative, Christian private school. I'm gay. This is going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 455

You deserved it 1 776

daidax_238 tells us more.

daidax_238 26

Wednesday 26 October 2016 23:18

Hey guys! It's OP here. I'm just here to clear up a few things. First of all, my parents know I'm gay and they don't like that at all. And for the few of you guys saying "there's still gonna be gay kids there, blah blah blah" you're wrong. It's a very small school within the area and only about 250 kids go there. So far, I haven't heard anything about a single gay kid in the entire school. To be honest with you it's just a shitty situation that I can't do much about. But thanks to everybody for the support!

By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 16:09 - United States

Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 086

You deserved it 3 595

By MissedTheBoat - 14/04/2013 07:28 - Canada - Calgary

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 703

You deserved it 4 210

Bye Felicia!

By NeedMoreFriends - 03/07/2015 10:30 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 416

You deserved it 2 397

Stinky

By Anonymouss - 25/06/2015 03:54 - United States

Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 451

You deserved it 1 988

Money money money!

By ofcourse - 13/09/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I got a promotion to management at work. My employer decided to give the 'non-management' employees a really nice raise. Which means the job I had before my promotion is now paying more than the job I have now. Did I just get demoted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 944

You deserved it 2 637

By FML - 21/12/2013 16:58 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 255

You deserved it 3 662

By ADT - 09/02/2009 02:14 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 670

You deserved it 3 847

By terpity12 - 07/08/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 414

You deserved it 24 396

By kel - 10/02/2010 17:34 - United States

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 709

You deserved it 4 881

By orangethonglover - 17/07/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 098

You deserved it 6 302

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 05:41 - United States - Spring

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 314

You deserved it 1 640

Depressing

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 04:24 - United States - Orlando

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 307

You deserved it 4 893

By mr_flarpin - 22/08/2012 00:37 - United States - Stoneham

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 280

You deserved it 7 559

By oliversoden101 - 24/12/2015 14:50 - United States - Miami

Today, my dad let me fire one of his guns. This was a big deal because he rarely lets anyone so much as touch them. I was so excited, I forgot about about the recoil. Now I'm in the ER with a broken nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 840

You deserved it 9 697

oliversoden101 tells us more.

oliversoden101 14

Friday 25 December 2015 1:50

Hi I'm the OP, I'm glad I got published that's awesome! The doctor fixed up my nose and it already feels a lot better, I think it's mostly the morphine though. Anyway I learned my lesson with guns and I doubt my dad will let me touch one again for a LONG time.

By legrand - 14/09/2016 08:11 - France - Grenoble

Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you should pay more bills than me, since you’re taller, you eat more, drink more and your clothes take up more space in the washing machine”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 125