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Ok guys, figured I'd give a quick update. Thanks to all of you who realized it was a mistake anyone could make! Lately I've been looking for a job, so I have a lot of interviews to keep straight. I had this interview, and another one tomorrow and they are both in the same town, I thought the interview tomorrow was the phone interview, and the one today was in person. Unfortunately I made a mistake, but I've learned to definitely keep my things more organized. The interviewer also completely understood and let me do it in person anyways. Hopefully you all learn from my mistake

By mareecasellafml - 27/03/2015 09:51 - Australia - Belrose

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 454

You deserved it 4 259

By Anonymous - 15/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Bronx

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 612

You deserved it 5 074

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 245

You deserved it 2 422

By EggHead - 31/12/2014 04:38 - United States - Woodbridge

Today, at work, a 3-year-old threw an egg at me from his cart. I couldn't leave my register to clean my hair because it was too busy, so when the new manager came in, he wrote me up for "unkempt appearance." Now my new hire probation period is extended 30 days, and my nickname is "Egghead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 036

You deserved it 2 600

Run run run!

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 20:33 - United States - Roseburg

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 541

You deserved it 3 660

By Theo - 18/12/2009 06:52 - United States

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 943

You deserved it 2 241

Living for the weekend

By ouch - 11/12/2009 07:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 253

You deserved it 8 510

What happened?

By nayahbear24 - 27/08/2014 22:52 - United States - Trenton

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said, "Oops." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 243

You deserved it 3 934

By Shitty Boss Shitty Job - 15/06/2013 05:41 - United States - Davenport

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 067

You deserved it 6 574

Brotherly love

By Foodcomesfirst - 24/11/2009 20:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 3 700

Lonely birthday

By anon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 668

You deserved it 13 539

In and out

By newhostess - 11/04/2009 16:12 - United States

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to recommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking. I got food poisoning from my own workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 050

You deserved it 3 426

By Anonymous - 20/08/2015 12:37 - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, I was talking to a colleague about love. He told me he's given up on love because things ended badly with a previous girl. I said, "Maybe it wasn't meant to be, and she wasn't the one." He then said the reason it didn't work out was because she killed herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 794

You deserved it 4 024

By Dora - 12/10/2009 13:21 - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 288

You deserved it 7 992

By longing for emancipation - 30/04/2016 03:09 - United States - Mitchell

Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 767

You deserved it 1 326

By GDubeau24 - 05/11/2013 17:34 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 080

You deserved it 2 876

By Anonymous - 13/02/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 197

You deserved it 1 928

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The Top

Today, during a work meeting, my boss leaned over to me and whispered, "I suggest we fuck". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 345

You deserved it 2 539

Today, I received an e-mail from the Unemployment Department saying they had a job referral for me. After excitedly reading the description, I realised it was the job I'd just been fired from (at a much higher pay). If I don't go through the application process, I will be denied my unemployment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 739

You deserved it 2 660

Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 734

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 036

You deserved it 3 948

Today, I went to a club and my friends and I went up on the stage, then the security told me to get down and said the stage was only for girls. I'm 23. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 296

You deserved it 6 808

Today, as I was feeling frisky, I started to jack off. I was about to come when my cat attacked my hand and nether regions under the blanket. I really got the pussy, didn’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 258