The Top

I just wanted to clarify that later he felt bad and asked if I was fine, which I was. I also laughed at my clumsiness... I was even the one to close that door! Oops. I cleaned the mark (which he hasn't come home to see yet) and there is no violence... It's a funny story within our families now since I'm actually well known to be clumsy!

Make up your mind

By choke on a dick, sir - 01/11/2013 22:47 - United States - Portland

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 771

You deserved it 7 693

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 05:38 - United States - Brenham

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 353

You deserved it 3 263

Kinda sus, dude

By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 20:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 244

You deserved it 5 212

By Animal_aide - 07/01/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 072

You deserved it 2 966

By VictimofLaw - 07/01/2010 01:57 - United Kingdom

Today, the police stopped me for "driving irresponsibly" in the snowy conditions. After the 'lecture', they went to pull off in their Ford Focus Estate. Managing to go forward, they then hit a patch of ice and slid back. Instead of breaking or turning, they let it slide back into the front of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 968

You deserved it 2 305

VictimofLaw tells us more.

VictimofLaw 0

Thursday 7 January 2010 12:50

Usually they do use Astras, or they also have some police 4 x 4 they use for the stroud valley area in which I live, also they have a newer batch of focus estates. I was very near my own home, I was not "driving irresponsibly" at all. I was in second gear doing 10 mph down my street which -granted- is a slope and is bendy, but I know the road, i've driven in snow here before. Ive got a mk6 golf which has a clearly visible crack in the lower grate and also paintwork damage on the front of the bonnet and bumper. I did take the time to lecture them on road-condition awareness and also have got details so their insurance will be repairing my car. It's the general inconvenience tbh which pisses me off and the hypocrisy.

By Kan23 - 26/01/2016 03:37 - United States - Altus

Today, I got fired from my job. When I asked why, all that was said to me was, "We don't have to disclose that information, but you did nothing wrong. It's just not working out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 086

You deserved it 1 474