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So I never figured it out (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't the God of Farts) but the computer was really old anyway, so I'm just gonna borrow my mom's / use the one allotted to me at work until I can afford a new one. Thanks for the suggestions!

Unsure

By Anonymous - 29/11/2015 06:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emotionally proposed over dinner, and I said yes. Soon after he left, he tweeted, "I just fucked up...." and a few minutes later called me and claimed the proposal was a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 626

You deserved it 1 906

By someonesomething - 05/12/2009 11:24 - United States

Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 280

You deserved it 12 837

By a4rk - 08/07/2012 18:32 - Malaysia - Sibu

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 847

You deserved it 4 492

By Breanne - 14/07/2011 15:25 - Canada

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 277

You deserved it 2 332

Misery loves company

By siighh - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 758

You deserved it 3 337

By constantine - 29/08/2010 04:47 - United States

Today, I wanted to go clubbing with my friends. I started drinking at home to save on the price of drinks, instead I fell asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 573

You deserved it 36 183

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 803

You deserved it 4 102

By likearacehorse - 12/02/2013 22:58 - United States - Franklin Lakes

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 641

You deserved it 3 210

Thoughts and prayers

By wil - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 127

You deserved it 2 960

By ouchiee - 07/04/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I sprained my sternum in my rugby match. I now can't yell, laugh, cough, inhale or exhale fully, or sneeze without a sharp pain shooting through my chest. I have a pollen allergy, and sneeze every 5 or 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 580

You deserved it 4 176

By teejayrn - 18/12/2012 10:03

Today, I saw my daughter dusting her furniture with the white handkerchief I gave her as a wedding present. It's been in our family for 4 generations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 5 771

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 17:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 421

You deserved it 44 289

By Anonymous - 27/11/2014 18:51 - United States - Athens

Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 152

You deserved it 3 755

By Anonymous - 02/10/2011 20:35 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 951

You deserved it 14 895

By itsbeenalongday - 27/09/2015 16:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was taking a long, relaxing, hot bath with my girlfriend after a long day. She had fallen asleep in my arms and everything was perfect - until I noticed the water around us had started turning yellow as she pissed herself in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 072

You deserved it 3 085

By sakurabunny - 16/05/2011 14:53

Today, our cable, internet, and home phone got shut off because my mother-in-law decided that since we are moving, it was easier to not pay the bill rather than close the account. We're not moving for another month and the account was under my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 103

You deserved it 6 690

sakurabunny tells us more.

sakurabunny 0

Monday 16 May 2011 20:21

For the record: I gave her money to pay the bill since she works right next door to the company and i never got the notice's since she's the one who always gets the mail since my husband and I work full time and go to school full time. and before anyone asks what she did with the money, she used it to help pay the deposit on the condo she just moved into...AGAIN FML!!