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OP here! this actual happened a while ago, but the principle is still the same. the neighbors with the chihuahua, they occasionally yell at the dog to shut up. for the most part, they do nothing. it's not too loud to legally make a noise complaint, but loud enough to be an awful annoyance. as for the ones with the rooster, they don't even speak English. they're from Hong Kong, so they only speak Cantonese, which i don't speak. and i live in the middle of suburbia, so the rooster is very illegal. a 1000$ fine, i believe, if reported. the rooster usually gets really loud around 10, so it sometimes wakes me up, sometimes not. the chihuahua is pretty much 24/7. any more suggestions are more than welcome though, thanks!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2012 23:17 - United States

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 107

You deserved it 37 210

By Johnny - 19/12/2012 23:33 - United States - Memphis

Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 455

You deserved it 8 739

Suspicion

By vaylosa - 22/02/2015 20:36

Today, I decided to go all-natural and go to work without any makeup on. My boss swore I was on drugs, which I guess had absolutely nothing to do with the completely "random" drug test I had to take later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 602

You deserved it 3 624

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 568

You deserved it 2 674

By Customer Stonage Representative - 21/10/2011 12:10 - Canada

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 898

You deserved it 2 533

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 474

You deserved it 6 698

Congratulations!

By jennabee97 - 08/11/2014 23:02 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 995

You deserved it 4 331

By *sigh* - 08/12/2015 22:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I confronted my friend about the £260 he owes me. He got offended and said, "Friends don't have to pay back." He called me selfish and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 730

You deserved it 2 211

By artclasstrauma - 15/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 200

You deserved it 7 810

By Quendolin - 09/11/2015 14:07 - Germany

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 899

You deserved it 2 609

Socialite

By Jason - 22/11/2009 15:11 - United States

Today, I was finally able to hang out with a girl I really liked at a party. We had a great time and spent hours together. When I leaned in for a kiss at the end of the night, she stopped me and said , "You're a great guy, but we can't go out because you'd be bad for my social reputation." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 182

You deserved it 3 852

Highly relatable

By T.S. - 30/09/2010 14:07 - Australia

Today, after a promotion at work, my new manager made me reset my password for a website we use. To do so, I had to answer the secret question I’d set two years prior. The question was "What is your favorite activity?" The answer I had to type out in front of my manager was "Drinking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 353

You deserved it 35 634

By anonymous - 23/04/2013 05:25 - United States

Today, I had a note to skip P.E. that my grandpa had written because my mom was busy. His handwriting is terrible, so they didn't believe that he'd written it. I'd twisted my ankle and I got to run another mile for "lying". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 988

You deserved it 4 203

By stupidsantaclaus - 08/10/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 896

You deserved it 41 951

By fmlxxxx - 23/09/2009 13:15 - New Zealand

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 157

You deserved it 42 099

By PaintedDoll - 20/06/2016 03:12 - United States

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 783

You deserved it 1 615

PaintedDoll tells us more.

PaintedDoll 13

Monday 20 June 2016 18:56

Hey guys OP here. For a little back story the call was from my mother (I thought I put that in there). She has been married to her husband for about a year and they dated for about a year before that. I don't really see him except for holidays, because I've been living on my own since before they met. I didn't call him because he has his own children from a previous relationship, so I assumed he was spending time with them.

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 053

You deserved it 1 645