The Top

For everyone telling me to break my fast, had it actually been a problem and had I actually been sick, I would have broken it. But since I'm on summer vacation, I fell asleep, making it a lot easier to deal with. So while I was really hungry, it wasn't a health risk. I checked. God doesn't want you to kill yourself, just feel the pain of the poor and needy. And #3 pregnant women, menstruating women, nursing mothers, old people, sick people, kids e.t.c aren't supposed to fast. They can either make them up later or give in charity, if they are able to. If they aren't then no big deal. Plus puking, bleeding or fainting automatically breaks your fast, so even if I had gotten dizzy, I would have broken it. It was just kind of a miserable day because I get kinda pissy when I'm hungry, and I was snapping right and left. Thankfully my family understood, and made sure I woke up and had food the next day

Unexpected

By kalazoo21 - 25/08/2009 12:54 - United States

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 258

You deserved it 12 803

By forever_young - 13/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 963

You deserved it 1 818

By changeddaily - 20/03/2011 04:52 - Australia

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 496

You deserved it 11 318

By N1ch0la1 - 08/08/2009 09:35 - South Africa

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 231

You deserved it 2 978

Too good

By hard work doesn't work - 13/03/2015 06:21 - United States - Irving

Today, I found out that the reason I didn't get the job that I have been working my butt off for over a year for is because they can't find anybody who can do my current job as good as me. I'm too good to be promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 452

You deserved it 3 034

Dogfished

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my 13 year-old fishing off the pier for dogfish. The only thing he caught was a piece of my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 225

You deserved it 4 453

Thanks, I guess…

By reallyson? - 12/01/2015 05:28 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 569

You deserved it 4 766

Violence is rarely the answer

By anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Spencer

Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 051

You deserved it 1 977

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 179

You deserved it 8 149

By rochellamaya - 02/09/2011 12:47 - Canada

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 356

You deserved it 4 287

Oh, look…

By cocokiss410 - 28/07/2011 04:34 - United States

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 675

You deserved it 2 734

Paperweight

By caramelkarma - 15/04/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 280

You deserved it 65 711

By allisonpaige21 - 18/06/2015 22:31 - United States - Quitman

Today, I found out that my grandparents are going to take my car away and sell it because they're pissed I'm moving in with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 490

You deserved it 5 155

By pornhastaughtmenothing - 21/02/2013 08:46 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 443

You deserved it 11 671

By helen - 10/05/2011 03:44

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 499

You deserved it 26 780

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 089

You deserved it 3 990

Read the TOS

By Lameartist - 12/02/2012 10:36

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 596

You deserved it 37 946

By Baileyy - 01/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, while pensively thinking up my next awesome Facebook status over dinner, I finally came to the conclusion that I need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 184

You deserved it 41 279

Desperate

By Anna - 02/12/2012 08:03 - United States - Monroe

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 017

You deserved it 2 658

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 733

You deserved it 39 052

Conveniant

By habsgurl0622 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Piedmont

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 307

You deserved it 3 144

First!

By marryinghimanyway - 29/08/2013 02:21 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 170

You deserved it 2 948

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 827

You deserved it 51 753

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 110

You deserved it 6 697

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 874

You deserved it 9 621

Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 985

You deserved it 6 061

Today, my boyfriend got rid of the full leg cast he had to wear for 6 weeks. He won't stop pissing in a bottle at night because it's more convenient than getting up. At least he empties it himself now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 092

You deserved it 356

Today, my flat has turned into a pigsty. My flatmate decided to make the lounge his bedroom and it looks like a bomb has hit it. I haven’t been able to sleep, as he doesn’t sleep at night and talks to friends all night long or plays loud music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 114

Today, my son had an excessive nosebleed, like I did when I was little. I called my parents to ask what the name of the surgery was that I had to stop the bleeding. They don’t know because they don’t remember me needing surgery for that, OR when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. They remember my brother’s though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 123

Today, I was teasing my son about all the newlywed sex he must be having. He turned bright red and ended up admitting that because they stayed virgins until marriage they were too nervous to try on the wedding night, or on the honeymoon, or anytime since then. The wedding was 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 504