The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Top of the morning to ya!

By Bored - 09/02/2023 02:00

Today, I set my alarm for AM instead of PM. Woke up at 5AM to realize I have nothing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 338

Talk to me

By brendejafulable - 15/08/2020 14:02

Today, I had a conversation about how my day was, while dreaming. That’s how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318

You deserved it 163

Dogsbody

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 07:58

Today, and like every day, after I'd just had finished serving a customer on one side of the store, my boss asked me to go help another one on the other side of the store, which is literally a 2-minute walk away, while 2 other staff members were besides him, doing nothing. I don't even get paid commission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 127

Everything's gone green

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 18:00

Today, it's been a month since the hair dye that was supposed to be temporary is still making my hair tropically green, now with some added roots making it look even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 589

Move!

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 20:00

Today, I went to a TV show filming, but I was sitting behind what must've been the tallest person in the world. I'll probably only get to see the show properly once it airs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 121

Venn diagram of healthy living

By Anonymous - 10/02/2023 00:00

Today, after a conversation with my dentist on how to prevent further suffering, I realized that what is good for my teeth, my health, and my digestion are actually three different things that don’t offer much overlap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 661

You deserved it 117

High potential

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 12:00

Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 85

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 22:58 - Kenya

Today, my crush started uploading pictures and writing sweet messages about a girl on her status, so I assumed that she was into girls, and lost all hope. Turns out that the girl in question had passed away, and she was remembering her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 1 219

I'm listening

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 09:00

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 79

Classic lineup

By LonelyInLove - 17/02/2023 14:00 - United States - Methuen

Today, a guy I had developed feelings for broke things off with me, giving me a version of the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. This was the first person I had liked/wanted to date in almost 8 years. I think I’m destined to be alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 163

Lovely day

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 12:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s this year’s first spring-like day, with warm sunshine, birdsong, and the first tiny flowers! So of course I'm taking full advantage of this delightful weather by… being sick and staying indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 135

Radio silence

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 08/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, my family wonders why I don't call them more often. Probably because every single facet of my life is a disaster; medically, professionally, mentally and emotionally. Who wants to listen to a radio station that has nothing but bad news playing on it? Also, no habits that will get me an early grave. Lucky me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 138

By chassezlenaturel - 24/03/2015 12:58 - Belgium

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 036

You deserved it 5 583

Leave me alone

By Anonymous - 19/11/2021 10:59

Today, I was taking phone calls. In my dreams. That's just how horrible my job is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 100

Pretentious menus suck

By Anonymous - 20/02/2023 02:00

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant and couldn't pronounce any of the menu items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 570

Skincrawling

By Wanna be a skeleton - 11/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was finally able to see a dermatologist and figure out why my skin problems are so awful. The good news is that I now have an answer: Hidradenitis suppurativa. The bad news is that it's a permanent condition. It's been making my life miserable since I was fourteen, and it's PERMANENT. Great. Just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 90

Buzz off

By Anonymous - 22/11/2021 16:59

Today, my mother is mad at me for deleting my Facebook account. I actually deleted the account because I'd had enough of putting up with her criticizing comments on every Facebook post I made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 118

By Maxime - 28/02/2014 00:32 - France - Paris

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 241

You deserved it 4 492

Goofs and gaffes

By Chelsea - 23/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 250

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 228

My princess

By Kitty Princess - 07/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was late to work because I missed my Lyft… while it was literally in front of me. Why? I was busy telling my cat that she’s a princess and giving her goodbye pets. I looked up, and the driver was already peeling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 750

Honey, time to move

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 12:00

Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. My husband and I live in a cottage on her land, and her actual words were, “Well you better abort it, because you’re not having any baby in my cottage. The piss, shit, and sick will ruin the resale value.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 198

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 189

Alexa, play "Wendy" by The Beach Boys

By jake - 07/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, it’s been 2 years since my highschool ex dumped me after I went to college. Since then, I fell into depression, dropped out, and am now trying to get back on my feet working at Wendy’s. Meanwhile, she’s been having the time of her life, hanging out with bands, and got rich from TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 840

Payback

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 09:00

Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 125

Have fun!

By Outandaway - 09/03/2023 00:00

Today, I encouraged my boyfriend to get out of the house more often. So he did. He went out on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 259

Crunchy

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 12:00 - Denmark - Randers

Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 167

Where to start?

By doggone - 24/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today a big-ass hawk swooped down and carried off my daughter’s dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 137

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my daughter that the gold wedding ring her fiancé gave her as proof he was serious about the wedding is actually just a brass compression ring, worth less than a quid. She refuses to believe me, because I’ve never liked him. I’m a plumber; I know a brass ring when I see one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 76

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 28/03/2023 14:00

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my crush how I feel about them. I poured my heart out, only for them to tell me that they're already seeing someone else. To make matters worse, they then asked me for advice on how to impress their new partner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 218

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Kids Pregnancy Family Money Birthday Animals Cats Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 828

You deserved it 17 417

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 704

You deserved it 4 713

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste." Gag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 049

You deserved it 6 253

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 225

You deserved it 7 559

Today, as a bridal shower gift, I got a "coupon" for 25% off divorce attorney fees. It was a collective gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 329

You deserved it 4 023

Today, in front of a hospital, I noticed that an old lady was having trouble lighting her cigarette because she had Parkison's. So I went to help her to light it up and she then started chatting with me and told me she had lung cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 945

You deserved it 6 917