The Top

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Move it, now!

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 05:01

Today, I had just gotten out of the bath when a police officer knocked on my door. I answered in my towel, and he told me I had to leave due to a bomb scare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 134

AI is going to destroy us all

By AI hates me - 29/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was messing with an AI art generator. As luck would have it, it generated a nasty NSFW image just as my mom happened to walk by, despite my prompt being 100% innocent. It was also just after I got a nice, wholesome result, so I was smiling at the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 489

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Wentzville

Today, I delivered a bottle of alcohol to my crush, since I finished her bottle a few nights ago. Turns out, they'd caught my friend and I talking about giving her backshots on their Ring doorbell footage. She brought it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 775

Burn out

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 04:59

Today, I quit my job by insulting my manager - who is/was a friend, whose wedding I officiated - in full earshot of everyone. It turned into a pretty public argument on the street. I don’t really know why I did it, other than just feeling so burned out by his treatment of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 495

Southern states be like

By F*ckinghot - 20/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, as I have my entire life, I live in the south. However, our AC decided to break and now it's 91 degrees inside the house, even with fans on and the windows open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 123

Close shave

By Elisabeth - 16/08/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 1 535

The end of an era

By Anonymous - 23/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I had to quit my dream job, due to an injury I received at work over two months ago not fully healing. Not only do I really need the money, I’ll never find something I love doing so much, or a better group of coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 83

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 688

Hangover Struggles

By FML Videos - 01/10/2018 18:30

Living that derp life.

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 108

Alexa, play "In The City" by The Jam

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 08:03

Today, after I was told my new apartment in the city I’m moving to for work had off-street parking, the only car that could possibly fit is a Mini if it had first been sawn in half. I parked my perfectly normal Citroen as close to the wall as I could, but my back wheels were still on the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 167

Yummy

By Veggie dinner - 01/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 156

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 781

New fad dropped

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 20:00

Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 415

By yvon la moto - 06/11/2015 10:26 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 993

You deserved it 32 245

Socially awkward

By Anonymous - 07/07/2024 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 394

They didn't yet call them selfies in 2001

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found a box of old photos in my mom's house. This is how I discovered that her and her boyfriend at the time thought it was a great opportunity for a selfie… with the World Trade Center towers billowing smoke behind them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 91

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Central Square

Today, while I was at work, the cops were called for a wellness check on me because I'd blocked my bio father for being a pedophile. He'd called them on me, and I'm really embarrassed and upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 106

Never forget

By Anonymous - 02/12/2021 02:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 384

Drama kings and queens unite!

By IGoOutWalking - 26/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I was doing some routine maintenance on my car when a radiator connector broke unexpectedly. I realized I'd rather walk 3 miles in freezing temperatures than call my nearest friends for a ride and have to listen to their drama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 204

Rude!

By Fred from NY - 22/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, I was showing my grandma how to use emojis on her new smartphone. After she sent a cute smiley face, she went on to send a string of random emojis, including the eggplant and the peach, to her church group chat. When she found out the meaning those emojis usually have, she tried to ground me, even though I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 101

Drugery

By Anonymous - 11/02/2026 22:00

Today, I think I've reached that point in my marriage where sex is reserved for Valentine's Day, my birthday (maybe), and our anniversary. Which is fine, I expected it to come at some point, just not when I was in my 30s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 84

Booksmart

By Lindsey - 01/03/2023 14:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to a book signing by my favorite writer, but I was so nervous that I forgot what I wanted to say, and ended up blurting out something completely random and embarrassing about the hat they were wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 208

Sleep deprivation-induced psychosis

By C…… - 06/12/2021 11:01

Today, It’s the middle of the night and I just watched a Kenny G documentary, and found it absolutely fascinating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 275

Health scare

By sillygoose - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to check the dark growth I just discovered on my back. It was chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 387

You deserved it 44 977

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 753

Commited

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife demanded a divorce and full custody of our younger kids, all because I had our drug-addicted daughter arrested for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 96

Weekend Plans

By FML Videos - 26/10/2018 18:30

Nopenopenopenopenope.

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 71

A disappointing evening

By Jaxx - 15/03/2023 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to various attractions in Singapore throughout the day. Then, I visited Singapore Night Safari, a zoo with a theme at night. Besides dozing off throughout the train excursion, my night blindness ultimately prevented me from seeing more than 40% of the creatures. The ticket cost me USD$40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 789

No fun

By Ed. - 04/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Stoke Newington

Today, I got back the results of an allergy test I decided to get because I felt generally tired after meals. Turns out that I'm allergic to, among other things, meat (yep, is a thing), nuts (of course), milk, egg, rice, carrot, apple, yeast (as in bread), and even soy. Seems I'm allergic to… food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 102

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 102

You deserved it 49 688

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The Top

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 279

You deserved it 1 483

Today, the creepy guy I turned down for a date almost six years ago, sent me a box of rotting flowers with a note calling me a cunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 695

You deserved it 8 329

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 509

You deserved it 3 046

Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a dinner along with my own. Mine took a little longer to cook, so they ate before me and went back to her bedroom. I ate alone to the sound of them having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 763

You deserved it 4 687

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 188

You deserved it 6 259

Today, I found out my sudden weight loss wasn’t because I changed my diet. It’s because I have heart failure FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 150