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Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 518

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 1 155

Don't threaten me with a good time

By Anonymous - 14/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I received a package in the mail from a guy, with no warning. He then blocked me. It was a strap on. What do I even do with this thing now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 142

No sex for you

By oops - 03/07/2021 13:59

Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 027

Good luck

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 185

News to me

By Whitney - 09/10/2022 02:30

Today, my best friend called me and told me she was in the hospital in labor. Excited, I rush to the hospital. Once I arrived, I saw my boyfriend of 4 years in the room. I asked him what he was doing there and my friend says, “You wanna tell her or should I?” Turns out he’s leaving me for her. The baby is his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 682

You deserved it 154

Weirdo

By Alcina - 10/07/2021 20:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that my friend's "No shoes in the house" rule was only told to me so he had an excuse to see my feet. I found out when he had a group of us over and I was the only one barefoot, while he didn't care that everyone else had shoes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 126

Wine about it

By Anonymous - 30/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 140

Nope, no way

By Anonymous - 01/02/2024 09:00

Today, my mom is sulking because I won’t let her house-sit for me while I’m away for 4 months. Her house is a pigsty, a hoarder would be ashamed to live in her house, and growing up in that house is what gave me an OCD for cleaning, yet she thinks I should trust her promises that she’ll keep my house tidy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 91

Asked and answered

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 14:01 - Brazil - Itapema

Today, after a 16-hour day fixing the computer network at my workplace, I didn't even get a "Thank you". I did, however, get people whining about how, "That computer crap never works" and, "Why do we need IT anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 86

GTFO dude

By Outta shape - 06/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband is leaving me for another woman because, and I quote, “She can ride dick longer than two minutes and doesn’t have two chins looking down on me while doing it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 338

Stay at home, never go out

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 10:30 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went out for gas, the first time I've been out since my break up. As I was paying, a mob boss was killed in the parking lot. I was questioned for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 138

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every girl i've ever been interested in will not text me back or follow up. I barely had any luck back in high school. I thought it would get better. Is this what dating is like in the mid-20's? FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 207

All kinds of wrong

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 22:00

Today, after my boyfriend ghosted me when he learned I was pregnant, I stormed to his house to tell his wife about us to get back at him. Turns out he gave me a fake address, because the cops were called on me after I screamed at some random woman who lived there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 1 034

Helicopter

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 22:01 - United States

Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 103

You deserved it 147

Creepy

By bam.93 - 14/04/2020 17:00

Today, my supervisor asked me to help him for some modifications on an Excel sheet. I helped him for some stuff, but couldn't help him completely. He said to me, " Try to learn more about Excel, I want someone to satisfy my needs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 219

Casual homophobia

By GuyWhoCameOutFinally - 25/10/2022 16:00 - Netherlands - Eindhoven

Today, I came out to my parents and siblings as gay. They were very accepting and asked me why I waited until I was 25 to do so. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was their own homophobic remarks that kept me closeted since I realized it at 14, and that a previous coming-out to a parent was dismissed as 'a phase'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 282

The wrong sort of lock in

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 09:59 - South Africa

Today, I gave my 10-month-old the house keys to keep her busy. I locked the burglar gate and left the door open. She can walk, and she threw the keys outside the gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 1 399

Powerful spray

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 06:00

Today, I had my window opened slightly, without a screen behind it. I walked into the living room and smelled a skunk. I looked out the window and saw a skunk, so I quickly closed the window. However, it was too late. Before I could do so, it turned and sprayed me, a few meters of my house, and our front porch too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 172

Money money money

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my wife is pissed I bought a $600 drill set on sale for only $200, because the one I had wasn't strong enough for the job i just started at. Yet the $300 I just spent for her to go to a concert isn't even in a the equation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 126

Get your own food, lady!

By Anonymous - 09/11/2022 06:00

Today, I'm so nice, I allowed my landlady to use my freezer in the hallway. In exchange, she's so nice, she feels entitled to take my food being stored in said freezer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 190

Pile on

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 06:01 - United States - Livermore

Today, I was laughingly informed that I'm an overachiever, by my doctor who thinks I have more health conditions than anyone my age should have. Guess who was just diagnosed with another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 120

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 223

Cyclist's drip

By buyouyou - 28/08/2021 06:01 - China - Beijing

Today, I cycled to the office in my new uniform pants. When I arrived an hour later, my sweat had already soaked through them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 876

Manipulation

By Willow McGarrigle - 04/06/2020 23:00

Today, my ex, who I only dated for 3 months, told me the only reason why he dated me was because he thought my sister was hot, and he just wanted to get closer to her. So thank you for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 155

Splatter analysis

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Pataskala

Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 145

Traumatic

By cuz803 - 07/09/2021 17:01

Today, despite working out and training in combat sports routinely as a lifestyle, I continue to have nightmares of those who bullied me in middle school in the past. These people can no longer torture me in real life, but still can in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 210

Rampage

By emmalou - 16/09/2021 08:01

Today, my roommate is rampaging in the house at 1:00 a.m. because her stuff was moved out of the pantry for the new person, after being asked several times to move it herself. Apparently, she didn't see the text message heads-up, because she refuses to use her phone as a source of connection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 133

Cost of living crisis

By Anonymous - 19/04/2024 06:00

Today, it's only been two months since my daughter has owned her home and now she wants to move back to my house because she lost her job and can’t afford the mortgage, plus she got pregnant off a one-night stand and needs my help with the baby. Bang goes my plans for a quiet retirement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 156

He's such a character!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was called a judgemental bitch by my family for not letting my son back home after his release from prison, forgetting that none of them want to house him either, considering he did run me over with my car he was stealing to pay his debts to his drug dealer/prostitute provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285

You deserved it 80

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The Top

Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 617

You deserved it 3 517

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 027

You deserved it 28 341

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 780

You deserved it 5 686

Today, I thought it would be romantic to take my girlfriend to the beach. It was raining so we left our shoes and phones in the car so we wouldn't be bothered. Apparently, I left my keys in the car too. The car was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 753

You deserved it 26 651

Today, while buying laxatives at a store, the cashier loudly declared that I'm "too pretty" to be constipated. What? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 127

Today, we were at a friend’s birthday party and it was time to sing Happy Birthday. My crush was there. Wanting to impress him, I started out-singing everyone with runs and riffs. Someone said, “It’s just Happy Birthday, it’s not that serious, wannabe American Idol.” Everyone, including him, laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 2 391