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Family vacation!

By Ungrateful brat - 06/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 218

Imitation is a form of flattery. Or is it?

By Anonymous - 08/08/2020 14:02

Today, and ever since he saw the infamous interview that was on TV the other day, every time I say something to my husband, he keeps quoting, "You can't do that!" and "You don't know that!" at me in Donald Trump's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 204

Experimenting

By Anonymous - 16/06/2024 14:00 - United States - Englewood

Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 652

Bad boys, bad boys…

By Joey Soprano - 18/08/2020 02:06

Today, I went to the DMV today and sat in line for over 6 hours to renew my driver's license. Even though with the pandemic, it's been extended to New Year's Eve but I decided to get it done and over with. I get called up to finish everything, only to find out my license is suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 559

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 137

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 04:00 - Argentina

Today, I hooked up with a single mother. Amazing sex, but now I can’t sleep because her baby won’t stop fucking crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 1 853

Speed dating

By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 02:01

Today, I found out that the 28 year-old woman I hooked up with a week ago is a widow and her kids, who I’ve met once, have started calling me Daddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 328

Instant Regret

By FML Videos - 29/09/2018 00:30

Patience is a virtue!

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 398

Wait your turn

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 02:01 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I found out I’m not getting a raise, despite my ‘outstanding’ performance, since the company made a loss this year. Last year I didn’t get a raise because of COVID uncertainty. The year before that I didn’t get a raise because I only just got ‘promoted’, where I also didn’t get a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 130

Star Wars

By Not an anti-Semite, just a dumbass - 26/02/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I somehow mistook the Star of David for a Pentagram. My Jewish friends were not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 813

Facebook Memories

By Anonymous - 20/09/2020 05:03 - Canada

Today, Facebook showed me pictures from five years of a happy time I had traveling with a boyfriend, who later ended our 8-year relationship by telling me he had gotten an apartment and furniture in secret, and was moving out. No warning, no reason, no explanation. He never spoke to me again. I loved him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 229

Have a Coke and smile

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 02:01

Today, after my 7 year-old learned at school that water that goes down the sink and toilets is cleaned and then turns up in the taps as drinking water, he is now refusing to drink it at all in case it is recycled toilet water, and if he carries on he may need to be hospitalised for dehydration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 204

Food guilt

By Anonymous - 08/02/2026 09:00

Today, my husband is out with his buddies so I decided to have a solo night in and ordered Uber Eats for dinner. Two hours later, I was craving cheesecake and ordered through Uber Eats again like a little food gremlin. I got the same delivery guy, who now knows EXACTLY what I did. I'm hiding in my house until he leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 426

Priorities

By Brodam - 17/09/2020 20:01 - United States - Scotch Plains

Today, we began our honeymoon with a Yellowstone Park hike. Wildfires took hold at both ends of the park. We lost all cell service. Her parents and my mom worried, texted and called. My dad just logged into my Fantasy Football team to pick up a running back in this week's waiver wire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 199

Free money

By mmaresca - 04/12/2021 17:01

Today, after waiting 7 months to get my amended tax return refund, I was informed today that not only did they mail it to the wrong address, the person who they mailed it to cashed the check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 90

Pass the parcel

By KatnissEverdeen - 16/12/2021 14:01

Today, my fireplace caught fire. The landlord says renters insurance should cover it. The rental insurance says the landlord should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 82

Whine dad

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 16:59

Today, whenever I leave my husband alone with the kids, he still refers to it as "babysitting", especially when he’s complaining about it to his brothers as the reason he never has fun anymore. I always assumed dads were parents too, not unpaid babysitters who get to whine about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 262

It's the thought that counts

By Blade83 - 09/08/2024 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. The problem? My birthday is tomorrow. I spent the entire evening pretending I was surprised and happy, all while knowing they got the date wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 619

Hell

By Sleepless in Juneau - 27/11/2018 05:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my housemate's cat began meowing at 2:15am. After about 10 minutes of continuous caterwauling, it finally shut up. Almost immediately afterwards, a car with thumping bass music pulled up to idle in the street right outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 668

You deserved it 234

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 877

You deserved it 758

Policy of truth

By jk. - 20/01/2022 02:01

Today, my girlfriend tried to look at my phone and I turned it away from her. Now she’s convinced I’m cheating on her. In reality, I’m too embarrassed to admit it’s because Facebook is showing me nonstop ads for laxatives after I ordered some two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 1 157

Who the **** are you?

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 02:02

Today, I finally mustered up the courage to send a message to the girl I've been crushing on for years. I'm now blocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 227

People don't want to work, huh?

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 18:00 - United States - Mcallen

Today, I realized i'm practically incapable of actually getting a job. I'm 19 years-old, with no workforce experience, I frequently apply to jobs and regularly follow up with them on a consistent basis, yet they still ghost or reject me outright. These are minimum wage, starter-level jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 137

Living in a bad TV show

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 14:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. Turns out I had sex with her once about 3 months before I met my girlfriend, and had no idea who she was. She’s been “happily” married to my girlfriend's dad for 25 years. I have no idea what to say or do and it’s awkward, so my girlfriend is getting suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 474

The other shoe drops

By ConstantChoas - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out the procedure manual I've been creating for months and finally finished is going to be used to train the person replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 230

Get the message

By DumbNotDeaf - 01/02/2022 02:00

Today, my friends tried to set me up with another nice, quiet girl. My type are girls who can do their own oil change. I'm mute and tired of people assuming I'm either the nice quiet guy or a complete jerk who won't talk to anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 311

Kids these days

By natasha - 29/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter flat out refused to eat her father’s mashed potatoes. Just a day ago, she was raving about how much she loved her dad’s cooking. Why would she lie? FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 143

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 412

Stay indoors, make new friends!

By janmesh - 06/11/2020 11:01 - Germany - Köln

Today, i found myself talking to the rat living under my wardrobe as if he was my friend. It's only day 2 of the partial lockdown in Germany. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 186

Bum note

By Music Lover - 07/11/2020 14:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after entering a conservatory of music, I've worked really hard on my academic subjects to past through the exam, so my major is pretty weak. After practising 6 hours a day for three weeks, my teacher asked me to change my major and said I'm the worst student she's ever seen. And there‘s nowhere I can go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 185

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The Top

Today, my seasonal allergies started. Most annoying thing by far this allergy season? I only get the urge to sneeze when I have food in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 623

You deserved it 1 788

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 414

You deserved it 5 730

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 388

You deserved it 6 903

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 222

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 679

You deserved it 227

Today, I have come to the realization that I will likely never be happy at a job. Either it’s low pay, bad work/life balance, racist/homophobic coworkers, or terrible bosses and/or customers. I’ve worked jobs in several different fields and it’s all the same. Yet people say “No one wants to work!” Fuck that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 611