The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 09/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 521

Beggars can't be choosers

By I'm grown, damnit! - 21/06/2023 18:00

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 473

By LivingInMisery - 13/04/2017 04:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, I was supposed to have my advising appointment for my next semester of college. When I got to campus, it was windy and raining so heavily that my clothes were sopping wet within a minute of stepping out of my car. My advisor didn't show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 000

You deserved it 273

Lonely, so lonely…

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 02:00

Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 285

We feel for you, bruh

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 20:01 - India - Bangalore

Today, I realised that I wasted my teenage life just to be a parent pleaser. I'm in the final months of high school and while everyone is enjoying the last days, I'm sat here being a "good" son, listening to my parents argue, maybe divorcing. I'm in tears and can't go out as I'm not invited to anything anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 209

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 150

You deserved it 408

Donor

By Anonymous - 03/07/2023 03:00

Today, a few weeks after my ex dumped me and I'd just started to get over it, she asked me to get her pregnant. We had sex once within the year we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 182

By stk - 19/12/2016 12:56 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up at 3am to catch my flight back home, only to realize that my flight was pushed back 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 729

You deserved it 504

Tech expert anyone?

By I am puzzled - 13/07/2023 03:00 - Ukraine - Vinnytsia

Today, my laptop has its own likes and dislikes. The cooler keeps spinning crazily, causing loud annoying noise when I use the laptop at my parent's house, and functions perfectly silent at my place. Careful inspection proved full working order. What's going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 127

With friends like these…

By Poor as fuck - 29/05/2019 22:07

Today, I stayed with a friend because I was recently kicked out of my home and had nowhere to go. When I went out for job applications, she asked, "Can you pick me up a pack of smokes?" and then got mad that I didn't have the money, calling me selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 335

It doesn't

By Anonymous - 10/04/2022 14:00

Today, my girlfriend and I have literally had our genitals in each other’s mouths and tongues in each other’s ass cracks, yet when I used her toothbrush, I’m gross and nasty, and deserve a sex ban for two weeks. How does this make sense? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 1 034

Indoctrination

By ZeroG57 - 04/05/2017 14:00

Today, my friend invited me to an afro-indigenous event. Eager to learn more about my roots, I tagged along. The bean bag toss and warrior dance was fun, until the Q&A came and it was clear that the focus wasn't the African diaspora but "consistent ritualized self-improvement." Yup, it's a cult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 237

You deserved it 495

By Dom - 31/05/2019 12:00

Today, I proposed to the girl I have known for a while, since our Dads have worked together for 40 years. After I rang my Dad to tell him the good news, he told me that there was a position open at work, which had belonged to her Dad. My Dad had to fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 143

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/02/2021 02:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I learned that my mother-in-law gives better head than my wife. How? It wasn't from my experience, but thanks to a casual conversation with my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 478

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 22/06/2019 18:02

Today, I offered to help my mother-in-law boil noodles for some noodle soup. She loudly said, "You know how!?" I'm a chef. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 151

Bad news

By Its over - 20/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 540

By TheStudentNurse - 18/11/2016 00:07

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 857

You deserved it 612

Hate crime

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 04:00

Today, I was planning to propose to my girlfriend. I got out the ring and… she did the same. Coincidentally, she'd planned to propose to me, so we'd both got rings. Too bad our perfect moment was ruined by the bigot who called us “lezzers” and poured a pitcher of beer over both our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 464

You deserved it 304

By Unlucky gal - 12/06/2017 04:00

Today, I broke my mug, windshield wiper, shower curtain, and foot, all in six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 904

You deserved it 289

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 20:02

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me. All because I’m thinking of moving to the UK next year to study, and apparently, a girl he’s been thinking about for a week is a better option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 279

Egg mode

By Anonymous - 08/05/2022 02:00

Today, my wife got turned on by the muscular girl from the movie Encanto and asked me if I'd be willing to dress as her the next time we have sex. I love my wife and I enjoy sex as much as anyone, but she must have lost her mind if she thinks I'll wear a skirt so she can pretend I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 623

Can someone just help this person?

By Billie-Jo - 22/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Waldoboro

Today, I got a new smart TV and I can't do anything with it until I log into my Amazon account on it. It won't let me log on. Now I can't use the TV. This is just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 263

Slacker

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend has a freezer full of his favorite dish, which I cooked for him, yet he is subsisting on chocolate and those pathetic ready-made sandwiches from the supermarket. Why? Thawing and heating up a meal is too much trouble when I’m not there to do it for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 210

No thanks

By Anonymous - 30/07/2019 22:00

Today, I got to a patient having a seizure and was approached by a bystander who said to me, "I have pharmaceutical grade essential oils, and they recommend Frankincense for seizures." Thank you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 140

Batshit

By fuck your indoctrination - 26/03/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, my cousin died of a very treatable illness. She was pressured into herbal and holistic "faith healing" instead of seeking "poisonous western filth". Her husband, church and family all seem to think she made the right choice. I’ve been shunned for disagreeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 514

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 09/08/2017 05:00

Today, I drove to the airport and parked in extended stay. As the plane was going down the runway, I tried to spot my car. I found it very quickly, as the car alarm was going off and all its lights were flashing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 508

You deserved it 463

Doggone right!

By Emilia - 16/09/2023 14:00

Today, my boyfriend went out and bought a pistol. When I asked him in horror why he did such a thing, he said, "It's my God-given right as a US citizen!" We're not even American, we immigrated from the UK, and we were both atheists, or so I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 426

Classic story

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 23:00 - United States - Wilton

Today, I’m getting so old that the local radio station that plays the “old classics” is playing songs I listened to in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 180

Cover up

By Anonymous - 20/09/2023 10:00

Today, my stepmother ruined my wedding by trying to get me to cover my tattoos with makeup. She spilled makeup on my dress, delayed the limo, talked through the ceremony about my tattoos looking horrible, and tried to cancel our photographer so there’d by no official photos of my horrible tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 190

Thank you for your service

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my daughter asked me to join the Army so that she wouldn't have to see me anymore. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 334

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 507

You deserved it 2 079

Today, someone walking my way started waving. I waved back until I realized he wasn't looking at me. To make things worse, while walking past he said, "Get a fucking friend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 372

You deserved it 3 776

Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 436

You deserved it 5 940

Today, my wife lied to me three times, saying she was at work but in reality she was home the whole day. Every time I ask her about it, she says she's not in the mood to talk. And says a lot of "I don't knows…" Almost like she has something to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 150

Today, I had three days off work. My mom woke me up for work on all three of those days, despite my repeatedly asking her not to. When I actually had to go to work this morning, she didn't wake me up. At least I wasn't late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 155

Today, I confidently told a funny story during a holiday family dinner. Nobody laughed, except my younger cousin, who snorted so hard at the way I'd flopped into complete silence, he sprayed cranberry sauce across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 139