The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Judge and jury

By Anonymous - 20/05/2022 06:00

Today, I turned 18 and I’m now subject to adult discipline. My dad says I will no longer be grounded or have my phone taken away, but I have three strikes and if I get to three, he’s throwing me out to get my own house. He then gave me my first strike because I was 30 minutes late picking up my nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 570

Customer support

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of juice on sale. When it didn't ring up the sale price, they told me that the bottle was just on the wrong shelf and it wasn't on sale. I demanded that they honor the price, and they had security escort me out, without the juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 996

Gonna need some context

By Anonymous - 07/05/2022 04:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, I was banned by 3 cross stitch designers, all because I stood up to bullying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 148

What is going on here?

By Emily - 07/01/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I went to my BFF's 16th birthday party. As I arrived, a VERY cute (and familiar looking) boy said to me, "You look hot! Wanna kiss?" I've made out at parties before so I agreed. As we did, I recognized my pal as a slightly butch, if pretty, GIRL I know. Worst part - her kisses are better than my boyfriend's. Am I gay now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 801

Moldy excuse

By andrea - 02/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my idiot daughter has allowed mold to grow in her shower. Her excuse? She thought it was just some “stains” that wouldn’t come out. Yeah, I don’t believe that. I think she knew it was mold and just didn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 304

Stand up guy

By Cecilian - 06/03/2021 00:30

Today, I found out why my fiancé has been treating me like garbage lately. He thought that me getting fed up and dumping him would save him the unpleasant task of having to confess to the affair he’s been having with his coworker. We’re expecting our baby girl in 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 124

Crying

By The poor bees - 02/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I went to a gathering at a friend's place. He had a bottle of "mead", which I tried and loved. Only after drinking two glasses did I learn that "mead" is made from honey. Eight years of dedicated veganism down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 1 273

Modern bonding

By Anonymous - 01/06/2022 22:00

Today, my wife is mad at me because she claims I don’t spend any time bonding with her son. It’s as though she refuses to understand that just because we are in different rooms, on separate PlayStations, doesn’t mean we’re not playing the same game, and talking through headphones for hours at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 230

Lunch Special

By Luisa - 09/01/2020 01:00

Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 248

Living in a romcom

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 06:00

Today, my assistant booked me an important meeting tomorrow, which is also our anniversary. My boss says I can’t miss the meeting or I’ll be sacked, and since I forgot our anniversary last year, my wife swears she’ll divorce me if I miss this year. I have no good options here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 822

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 244

By doyouwantmedead - 21/08/2017 13:00 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, I asked my mom if I could go to a friend's birthday. She said no, claiming I had been to too many this year already. I'd only been to one. It was my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 402

You deserved it 239

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 22:00

Today, I threatened to break up with my boyfriend over the Trolley Games in Toontown Rewritten for trying to sabotage my scores. We're 24 and 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 1 774

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had a rehearsal for a musical I'm in. I've worked my arse off to get the songs I sing in place and sounding good. Unfortunately, my coworkers haven't. Now the director wants to cut the songs I'm in because, "the people you're working with make you look shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 672

You deserved it 226

Some dream…

By Anonymous - 21/04/2021 17:00

Today, I'm a full-time Investment Portfolio Analyst at one of the largest groups. It has been my dream job and I worked my ass off. I'm one of the best analysts there and people like me. Also, I haven't slept properly for 3 months, without a single day off. I'm about to get mentally sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 500

By _SouthernClass_ - 29/08/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 200

By metalmeow - 17/06/2019 05:00

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 220

Cockstepblocked

By Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 191

You deserved it 481

Karen's aquarium

By agrant93 - 21/05/2021 09:02 - United States - Nampa

Today, I got called a racist because I refused to sell a woman a bunch of rather large 4-inch goldfish for a 10-gallon aquarium. These fish get 10 inches long and she wanted 20 of them. Essentially, she screamed at me for a half-hour, asking to speak to my manager. I'm the manager. She called corporate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 133

agrant93 tells us more.

agrant93 6

Saturday 8 May 2021 7:26

To clarify we're both white

Cold feet

By whyamidoingit - 23/07/2022 18:00

Today, it's three days until I get married, and I can’t help but be nervous. Why? I wish I knew. I’m not scared of commitment, I’m happy to spend my life with him, so why the sudden panic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 206

This is not a choice

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 14:00

Today, I came out to my parents. Now my dad only refers to me as "Nancy Boy", and not in a nice way, that’s if he even bothers to speak to me at all. Mostly he just pretends I don’t exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 295

You deserved it 357

Just not with me

By NotMeFML - 07/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 358

Sounds reasonable

By Anonymous - 19/05/2021 06:01

Today, my mum gave me a two-month ultimatum to get married or risk being disowned. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 85

Asshat

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 20:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, after my body has been ravaged, scarred, broken, and mutilated by cancer, my husband says it’s only fair for him to have a side piece, since the treatments to save my life have decimated my sex drive. But don’t worry, it’s just for his physical needs. He won’t “fall in love or anything.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 108

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 19:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 803

You deserved it 308

Freak scene

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 14:00

Today, I have never been more disgusted at my daughter. She was on her phone and almost walked in front of a bus, until a man with some kind of facial disfigurement pulled her back. She called the poor man a "freak" and not to touch her, and he started crying. I'm ashamed to think she is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 485

Bad data

By maida - 02/06/2021 04:01

Today, I discovered my mother has been replacing my chronic pain meds with sugar pills, to prove to me that "the placebo effect is real and works on everyone." No wonder I’ve been in excruciating pain for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 105

Not a biology major

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 288

Merry Christmas, I guess!

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 859

Routine

By RIP - 24/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 174

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Kids Pregnancy Family Money Birthday Animals Cats Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 184

You deserved it 4 910

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 977

You deserved it 3 686

Today, it was my two year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 191

You deserved it 4 709

Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 1 129

Today, I work at a gas station. There's a bald manlet, who we fired because he couldn't do his job, who has been ripping us off by giving away tickets he wins from the slot machines. We banned him from the store. I caught him on the corner, wearing our uniform, with a sign falsely advertising that our coffee is free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 148

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 155