The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By jjuuuuuuulless - 17/12/2018 17:30

Today, my car's parking gear and parking brake failed. I watched as it rolled down a big hill into someone's 2017, $30,000 camper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 317

You deserved it 321

By dank meme - 12/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 366

You deserved it 4 088

Manchild

By Soontobeedivorced - 13/03/2022 22:00

Today, I confronted my husband about yet again going out “with the boys” and not coming home. I told him that as long as he has that ring on his finger, he’s gonna respect me, the kids, and our home. He responded by taking off his wedding band and throwing it to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 567

Chuds

By Anonymous - 08/12/2020 13:58

Today, at my retail job, I was trying to get a large amount of cardboard to the trash and had a short path to maneuver through displays and customers. As I'm coming down the aisle, a customer sees me and stops to look at a coffee cup display, directly in my path. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 124

Thanks, dad

By manoloonfire - 21/12/2020 20:04 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I'm a MD who graduated with honors. I can't work right now because I'm preparing myself for the medical residence exam. I want to be a cardiovascular surgeon. My dad is ashamed of me and treats me like shit, because I don't work and I'm 26 years-old, living with my parents while I'm studying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 128

By HateTheBus - 18/03/2019 02:00

Today, I was taking the bus home from work. I went to pull the cord to request a stop when the driver slammed on the breaks to avoid running a red light, causing me to get thrown out of my seat and slide down the aisle and hit my head on a pole by the front of the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 427

You deserved it 234

Bad habits

By StopSnitchinBro - 04/06/2023 18:00

Today, I got fired from my job. Turns out, just because the new redheaded guy at work doesn't say anything about you calling them "Ed Sheeran" all the time doesn't mean he's not reporting it to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 2 784

By vroumvroum - 07/11/2010 06:02 - Qatar

Today, after being stuck in a traffic jam for quite a long time, my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 52

By Naofox - 29/03/2017 00:00

Today, I got frustrated looking for jobs and decided to take a quiz on best-fitting careers. My results speak for themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 383

Fatherlessness

By justagirl - 21/12/2019 14:00

Today, my ex started to talk to me again after 3 years. I've been in an amazing relationship for the last 2 years. She let me know she is taking me to court for child support. I didn't even know I had a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 550

You deserved it 228

By nanou - 07/03/2014 00:12 - France - Paris

Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s 5 kg heavier than when I left, I decided to take a taxi. The driver yelled at me because the short journey to my place wasn’t worth his time, and told me to take the subway. Welcome to Paris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 64

By EveOnRoad - 05/05/2019 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 9 years rode with his mother after boot camp graduation. She acts more like a jealous lover than a mom, so I'm currently chasing them all over Chicago in a blizzard, with her refusing to stop the car so he can see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 256

By Eric - 18/05/2019 06:10

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I added an old high school friend on Facebook. She claims this person is getting in the middle of our relationship. I haven't talked to him in years, and he lives across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 179

Quality alone time

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 06:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my boyfriend and I are renovating his mother's house. We have some yard work to do this weekend there, where he jokingly referred to it as, “quality alone time.” To that, my smartass response was, “Quality alone time? Is your mother gonna be there?” He blew a fuse and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 336

Throw away the key

By Raged af - 17/07/2023 00:02 - United States - Miami

Today, my ex-boyfriend was granted parole, community service, and “rehabilitation” for the crime of breaking into my house, kidnapping my dog and killing her while I was at work, as retaliation for me breaking up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 120

Overreach

By AccioBucket - 12/02/2021 11:02

Today, I'm banned from the only working bathroom in my house because my mother is cleansing for an upcoming colonoscopy. My options are either a bucket in the basement, or wetting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 103

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 21/07/2023 06:00

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 564

Stressed out

By mystermoon - 25/06/2019 16:00

Today, at my job in a pet store, my boss had me pull all the bags of food out and restock them so that they sat pretty. Five minutes later, the store is full of people. My manager screamed, "They're touching things!" and locked himself in the office with a cup of tea. He has the only open register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 127

Shot from both sides

By hannah - 18/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was yelled at by multiple people at work for not wearing any makeup. The only reason I don’t wear makeup is because my mom is guaranteed to make me cry before I leave the house every morning, so there’s no point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 124

By Alex - 11/06/2019 14:30

Today, I was working at my job at a bank. A couple was waiting in the lobby, and not being busy, I asked what they needed. They told me that they were applying for a loan, so I asked if it was for something exciting. It was to pay for their 12-year-old son's burial expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 389

Stewart Lee has let himself go

By Emmmsie - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my new passport arrived, along with my expired one and its 20-year-old picture. I was comparing the photos when my husband came to look. He laughed and said, "Time is cruel." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 684

You deserved it 592

By athlete47 - 03/08/2019 14:00

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 701

You deserved it 156

Losing more than I'll ever have

By Into the darkness - 30/03/2021 21:30

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that one of my subordinates, who is whiny, incompetent, undermining, the definition of passive-aggressive and stupid, was given a pay raise. She now makes more than me. My boss values a complete moron over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 10/08/2019 02:00 - Germany - Wuppertal

Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 636

You deserved it 186

Karma

By Justwantedathankyou - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Loudon

Today, I noticed that an SUV forgot to put their gas cap back on, so I tried honking and flashing my lights to get their attention. They slammed on their brakes, causing me to rear-end them. So much for good karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 910

You deserved it 1 576

By Anonymous - 11/08/2015 04:39

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 096

You deserved it 6 445

Time flies

By Anonymous - 06/07/2022 22:00

Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 2 545

Karma

By anon - 10/10/2023 10:00

Today, to get my coworker fired, I spiked his coffee with whiskey. Joke's on me, he's apparently enough of a drunk that it didn't affect him. Then I dropped the bottle as I was leaving for the day, cut up my ankle, and I'm now suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 2 225

Possession

By Katelyn_Louise - 01/05/2021 02:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 882

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Wake up Messy DIY Embarrassing Awkward Love Cute Cheating Pregnancy Kids Family Money Birthday Cats Animals Kittens Dogs Parenting Crush Work Painful Sports Vacation Parents Babysitter AITA Holidays Friends Annoying

The Top

Today, I was so desperate for a friend that I posted a Craigslist ad to find one. Now my phone's filled with spam and I still don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 696

You deserved it 2 828

Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 220

You deserved it 971

Today, my mother-in-lawyer threatened to sue me unless I took my professional wedding photographs off Facebook, as she didn't like that they made her look fat. She is over 300 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 508

You deserved it 4 824

Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 571

You deserved it 7 172

Today, I once again had to explain that my husband's vasectomy was because we really don't want children, and that, "but you can always adopt or try to undo the vasectomy" isn't an appropriate answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 162

Today, for the second time this week, a jerk in a big truck let a big rock fly out of their uncovered back and damaged my windshield. Both times the cops refused to do anything and I can't afford to fix it as I was demoted at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 104