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By Anonymous - 14/03/2017 10:06

Today, I found out my roommate is literally crazy. I talked to his sister for an hour on the phone, she told me I should move out as soon as possible and to make sure I take everything I brought, because he's a thief and a liar. She was amazed I had stayed as long as I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 433

You deserved it 746

jasonrellet tells us more.

jasonrellet 22

Tuesday 14 March 2017 4:15

So I know he was wacko but what I didn't know was that he was confirmed Insane by a psychiatrist. She knew and told me a lot about him, when I told him I was moving out at the end of that month he threatened to kick me out and dump my stuff in the street, he also kept my entire deposit. I later found out that the money I payed him to rent the room was used to go to bars and buy his beer. After that month the electricity and gas and water would have been shut off.

By Femme - 16/02/2012 16:41 - Russia

Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very much, young man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 63

By extrashiftwhoo - 04/11/2016 13:59 - Australia - Preston

Today, I really didn't want to go to work. Still, I showed up for work early on the busiest night of the week and stayed back until past 10 p.m. Exhausted, I went to sign off the roster when I realised that, in fact, I was not rostered on for today at all. I'm on tomorrow, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 912

You deserved it 3 535

By Highschoolisover! - 26/10/2017 01:30

Today, a good friend refuses to speak to me because she found out that I slept with her husband. It happened twelve years before they met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 672

You deserved it 743

By Phonessed - 08/11/2017 22:00 - Australia - Balwyn

Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 2 950

They tried to make me go to rehab…

By anon - 30/06/2016 17:33 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 949

You deserved it 714

Tunnel vision

By what. - 04/05/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend said that no, I'm not allowed to get glasses and then accused me of wanting to see other men. No, I just want to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 205

By yacoob - 24/01/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 635

You deserved it 25 265

DOA

By Nasu Johi - 06/09/2018 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a CNA, I had to go through the belongings of a patient. His phone rang and I answered - it was his boss. As I explained, he cut me off and said to "drop the act" and "he better be there now or he's fired". He was pronounced dead-on-arrival. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 708

You deserved it 201

By Random - 25/02/2016 22:09 - United States - Tuskegee

Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 286

You deserved it 4 536

Ouch

By Jackmeister - 03/11/2018 03:00

Today, I jacked off in the shower using soap with scrubbing beads in it. My penis is so chaffed, it hurts to put on pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 7 425

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 14:00 - United States - Wauseon

Today, a police officer stopped me and told me he got an anonymous tip that I was going to kill myself. I wasnt. Protocol says he had to bring me straight to a hospital where I explained that someone was messing with me. nobody listened. Now I have a hospital bill for $2,250. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 751

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 20:00 - Australia - Frankston

Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 416

You deserved it 518

By Anonymous - 03/12/2016 09:54 - United States

Today, I've had so many family members die in the past 4 years, I now think of which pictures would look good at people's funerals when I look through photo albums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 982

You deserved it 668

By Sorry Not Sorry - 01/11/2016 14:01

Today, my boss bitched me out for a customer complaint. The complaint was me not laughing at the customer's joke of me asking for his ID and him saying no. I'm sorry, I've been getting this "joke" a least twice a day since I started working here two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 504

You deserved it 656

Family snapshot

By Anonymous - 25/10/2016 05:06

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 347

You deserved it 817

Strike one

By sad but true. - 15/04/2014 23:18 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cellphone, which I had left behind in a lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years-old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 13 068

By GyroUpgraded - 20/07/2016 23:03 - United States - Portland

Today, after driving to three drug testing clinics that were approved for my job, each one declined me, saying they don't do testing anymore. Now I have to drive another 25 miles to see if someone will say, "You're clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 898

You deserved it 944

Denied

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 00:01 - United States - Austin

Today, an Air Force recruiter called me. I've been wanting to join the Air Force for 5 years now. After chatting on the phone with him for 10 minutes, I mentioned to him that I had asthma. He quickly told me I can't join any of the military branches, and to have a good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 504

By hannamacintosh - 28/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 747

You deserved it 1 606

By abbyleigh08 - 17/02/2009 07:01 - United States

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 362

You deserved it 30 867

By EKG - 11/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, after being in the hospital for two days with no visitors, I got my first phone call. It was my best friend asking if he could date my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 764

You deserved it 2 599

By cereal mom - 07/07/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that my ex let my son eat nothing but cereal and milk for every single meal during his five-day visit. Now my son shrieks, cries, and has a meltdown if I try to make him eat real food. My ex merely replied, "Your problem now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 081

You deserved it 454

By janie - 30/01/2009 23:17 - United States

Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 704

You deserved it 2 453

Uh... Okay?

By Champion sucker - 11/08/2018 06:00

Today, I was going out with my boyfriend after recently coming out. On my way out the door, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Suck that dick like a champ tonight, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 066

You deserved it 1 844

By gunnar - 20/09/2018 17:30

Today, my family and I went to Olive Garden. Due to my autism, I sometimes have a nervous tic, which presented itself while I was looking at the menu. I would have appreciated it if my mom hadn't then screamed at me to stop in front of the entire restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 647

You deserved it 646

By Anonymous - 29/09/2018 13:30

Today, my AC stopped working. It's currently 3:08AM and I have 2 fans running, a cold washcloth on my neck, and a window open. It's still hot as hell. Thanks, Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 761

You deserved it 471

By dine and DASH our friendship - 02/05/2017 00:11

Today, I served my good friend and his girlfriend at the restaurant where I work. They did a "dine and dash". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 428

You deserved it 416

Throbbing

By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 021

You deserved it 1 175

By ItWasOurAnniversary - 28/09/2016 12:08 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 440

You deserved it 2 509

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The Top

Today, I was cleaning the bathrooms at work. An older gentlemen came in and needed to use it. He said to me "Oh no, PLEASE stay, just don't look." I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 475

You deserved it 3 839

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 475

You deserved it 5 622

Today, I got a text from my cousin saying that he's gay. I was thrilled and told him that I'm bisexual. He later texted me saying that his friend took his phone and said that. He also told all of our relatives. I accidentally came out to my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 420

You deserved it 602

Today, my mum screamed that there is nothing wrong with me, after I literally coughed up blood in front of her. This all started over me getting my medications delivered to our house, as I’m not allowed out due to Covid-19 as I’m high risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 204

You deserved it 257

Today, a furious woman stormed into my job, demanding to know why I fired her precious baby boy. I explained that watching porn on the clock is grounds for termination. She screamed that I was lying about him and that she’ll see me in court for slandering him. I had to call the cops to make her leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 87

Today, I'm the only person in my company with almost zero chance of contracting COVID, because I literally have no social life. I'm also the only employee who has to get a COVID test every single day. Yay logic! FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 397