"Your degree will open so many doors" By Lewis - 18/12/2018 00:30 The way I live determined, that was a lie! I agree, your life sucks 224 You deserved it 115 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing, "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall…" Before I could say "…asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML I agree, your life sucks 69 647 You deserved it 16 039
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 995 You deserved it 64 746
Today, I was messing around on my laptop by drawing on the screen with a marker pen. When it came time to clean it off, it wouldn't budge. Now I have a full beard and mustache etched permanently on my computer screen. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 141 You deserved it 121 891
Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 746 You deserved it 685
Today, I moved into my first house and realised pretty quick that my estate agent lied to me about how great this neighbourhood was. I was in the house for 30 minutes when I heard the neighbours having a screaming domestic in their garden, then a brick flew over the fence and broke my eye socket. FML I agree, your life sucks 737 You deserved it 135
Today, I have to fill in a (now former) co-worker's shifts for the next few weeks. She took two of those shady energy pills and downed them with root beer during her shift, causing her to pass out, and landing her in the hospital. Why do we sell these things, and why haven't they been outlawed? FML I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 104