Sextoys, Funerals and Intimacy: Too late

Too late

By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

agreeclassic 76 609

vote type 1 4 592

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

agreeclassic 56 057

vote type 1 4 787

Overcome

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML

agreeclassic 3 433

vote type 1 635

Thanks, I hate it!

By V…… - 09/02/2009 07:51 - United States

Today, I visited my 78 year-old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

agreeclassic 42 434

vote type 1 3 438

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

agreeclassic 142

vote type 1 621

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

agreeclassic 27 913

vote type 1 3 577

Thanks for the memories

By How - 01/10/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

agreeclassic 394

vote type 1 116

Quandary

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 12:00

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

agreeclassic 1 589

vote type 1 298

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

agreeclassic 37 958

vote type 1 2 616

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

agreeclassic 49 364

vote type 1 6 336

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

agreeclassic 52 572

vote type 1 2 804

teddy4nyy 13

Monday 17 June 2013 23:05

Quite possibly the creepiest FML I've ever read on this site.

yoimtrollin 24

Monday 17 June 2013 23:06

"Oh das nasty" - Cleveland Brown

Comments

jonahwalzer 12

Wednesday 9 October 2013 12:47

That must be a pain in the ass.

emi008 11

Monday 6 April 2015 21:01

that is hysterical

unluckyorwhat 15

Monday 8 June 2015 8:44

Well it's yours now

ml_augustus 23

Saturday 26 September 2015 10:37

Are you gonna use it?

BLARGTEHTACO 20

Sunday 15 October 2017 19:18

oh my.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, after saving up for weeks, I bought myself an iPad. Because mine is better than the one my parents bought my ten-year-old brother, he got pissed and threw it into our pool. I'm now grounded for getting angry and calling him a bastard in the aftermath. FML

agreeclassic 41 276

vote type 1 2 741

Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML

agreeclassic 38 263

vote type 1 3 379

Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML

agreeclassic 455

vote type 1 101

Today, I watched a YouTube video about artists who ripped off other artist's songs. All of the bands that were accused of stealing were all bands that I really enjoy. FML

agreeclassic 39 341

vote type 1 11 078

Today, my two children and I are spending the night in our SUV until God knows when, all because we walked in on a young lady bouncing up and down on their father on our bed. Did I mention our SUV’s A/C doesn’t work? It’s 90 degrees outside. FML

agreeclassic 722

vote type 1 164

Today, I found a bag of frozen broccoli in my car boot from when I went shopping 3 days ago. My whole car smells like farts now. FML

agreeclassic 2 095

vote type 1 1 029