Intimacy: Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

agreeclassic 32 657

vote type 1 4 813

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By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

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By ineedanotherdrink - 07/08/2009 09:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went out drinking with a friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, she said, "Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?" Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy by the bar. FML

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By VahnSeiro - 20/02/2010 06:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML

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By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

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By cumguzzler - 06/03/2009 16:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

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TOP COMMENTS

maphineRAWRS 10

Saturday 13 November 2010 11:56

ydi it for trying to "get with" her.. unless you ment in a nice way cause you like her, then you've just been planning to use her for a year so hahaha at her getting with someone else :)

alexFYL 11

Saturday 13 November 2010 21:36

dude, I've been trying to get with Brad Pitt since i was like 11 years old, he keeps going out with other girls. I know how you feel.

Comments

GreekYogurt 26

Saturday 15 August 2015 0:35

Crushes are silly.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML

agreeclassic 34 147

vote type 1 3 900

Today, I got in a huge fight with my pregnant wife because I cannot consent to naming our future daughter Paprika. FML

agreeclassic 17 634

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Today, my boss held a meeting to talk about how we can't overlook others and no one should pick favorites. I walked out unemployed when I pointed out that she completely ignored the person who made the biggest sale in company history and constantly gave her son raises for mediocre work. FML

agreeclassic 5 861

vote type 1 1 008

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

agreeclassic 45 861

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Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

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Savour the flavor of the day, but be careful out there!

agreeclassic 722

vote type 1 196