Animals Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when...

Anonymous - 03/03/2013 14:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

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St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

You're welcome…

craphanded - - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

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Snap!

wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

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mhmohyeah - 10/11/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

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Anonymous - 13/11/2012 23:17 - United States - Killington

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

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The chase

Paula - 05/11/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML

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Shooting!

WittyMoron - 08/01/2020 01:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was out shooting pigeons with my brother. I decided to climb a tree to get a better view of where they were flying in from. As I perched on a branch and surveyed the skies, my idiot brother mistook me for a pigeon and shot me in the leg. FML

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bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

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Look at that

That escalated quickly - 24/06/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

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I don't dare look

TerribleAim - 12/10/2022 00:01

Today, I was trying to scare a squirrel away from my bird feeder. It was on my privacy fence, so I picked up a rock just to throw at the fence to startle it. I hit the squirrel in the head and he fell off on the other side. I don't know if he's okay or not. FML

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Alas, poor Kermit

traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

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TiggityTony 5

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:58

Fatality.

gc327072 30

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:59

Quietly bring it home and make an epic turkey breast sandwich!

ViviMage 39

Monday 4 March 2013 3:47

Take it home and cremate it. Or stop partway through the process and baste in its juices!

whY402Jay 12

Monday 4 March 2013 4:08

Well, it could have become aggressive and slashed a huge gash in your leg. Most people I know understand the viciousness of wild turkeys.

swampbaby985 30

Monday 4 March 2013 4:18

Thanksgiving dinner?

Danfran_1147 10

Monday 4 March 2013 4:45

Instantaneously?

pittyfinny 4

Monday 4 March 2013 5:08

You ass

mcar 13

Monday 4 March 2013 5:30

Well turkeys are one of the most stupidest animals.

yaoifreak 8

Monday 4 March 2013 5:35

eat it so it doesnt die in vain !!!!!

trav_o 8

Monday 4 March 2013 5:53

It was obviously a failed attempt of a kamikaze turkey.

RaulGarcia30 10

Monday 4 March 2013 5:55

Thanksgiving at your house!!!!

beanthemouse 13

Monday 4 March 2013 7:32

Guys.. We do not celebrate thanksgiving in Australia. People are saying that "oh, turkeys are dangerous! Do not be so judgemental!" so does that mean that you can kill an animal that is dangerous, even if he did not attack you, just for the sake of being "dangerous"? And the turkey reacted beacuse he thought he was going to be attacked. Of course an animal would react when threatened! And OP does not sound like he feel bad for killing one on Australias Bush Turkeys when he described it "stupid". I think OP was the stupid one for even being bothered by a sweet turkey.