Love: Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched...

By filipinoclari808 - 16/04/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 15 802

vote type 1 81 470

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By hero to zero - 04/07/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML

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By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/10/2014 15:49 - United States - Bedford

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

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By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

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By goddamitme - 21/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, My girlfriend came from behind me and put her hand in my back pockets. I though it was someone trying to take my wallet, I elbowed her in the nose and broke it. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/09/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, I was kicked in the crotch. The girl who did it thought I was her ex-boyfriend. I'm a girl. FML

agreeclassic 37 421

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By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

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RichHurtz 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:09

Someone taps you so you roundhouse kick them? What are you, an idiot?

rw4rf1s 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 16:07

FLAWLESS VICTORY

Comments

lacotuitblue 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:00

... and roundhouse kicking your friends is normal because...

elkodiesbueno 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:00

#5 & #15 ahahh

MrJentipede 2

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:02

I'm calling BS, saying you go around roundhouse kicking people does not make you sound cool.

audiogasmic 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:03

....roundhouse kick? are you like chuck norris or some shit?

ilikerainbows 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:12

somebody's stuck in the 90s....

mangoid 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:12

HAHAHAHAHA,

Ncc_Tardis 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:12

So, does Apple pay you 99c every time you listen to a song?

SSC_fml 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:13

:O Maybe you should've looked, hope she beat you up after that.

jSOPURE 3

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:15

Chuck Norris FTW. Chris Brown FTW. JCVD FTW. You= WIN. :)

fml_again 1

Thursday 16 April 2009 17:23

wow, sounds like my ex

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and me on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know." Thanks Facebook. FML

agreeclassic 35 585

vote type 1 8 236

Today, I put on my favorite booty shorts and walked outside to smoke a cigarette. My dog had chewed a hole in the middle of my shorts, and I was standing on a balcony that's located on the busiest street in town. FML

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Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

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Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML

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Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

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