Health: Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a...

By ewicsmelly - 29/12/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

agreeclassic 13 763

vote type 1 56 797

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By YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

agreeclassic 34 568

vote type 1 4 994

Nature finds a way

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 18:00 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML

agreeclassic 684

vote type 1 465

By ant_hater - 28/08/2011 18:18 - United States

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

agreeclassic 23 645

vote type 1 2 532

Freak Scene

By antsgomarching - 06/10/2020 17:01

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

agreeclassic 1 307

vote type 1 133

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

agreeclassic 1 928

vote type 1 215

By Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

agreeclassic 2 223

vote type 1 347

By Anonymous - 06/10/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML

agreeclassic 42 792

vote type 1 8 946

New neighbors

By Jules - 06/07/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, I got up, curtains still closed, and in the dim light noticed something dark on the floor, which wasn’t there yesterday. I turned on the light to find out what it was. A tiny ant hill. FML

agreeclassic 734

vote type 1 130

By santasadiekins - 17/08/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

agreeclassic 34 724

vote type 1 4 876

By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 22:20 - Canada

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 34 449

vote type 1 4 365

angela3222 0

Wednesday 29 December 2010 8:59

EW WTF.

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Wednesday 29 December 2010 8:59

Shave.

Comments

fullerkate3 17

Sunday 25 October 2015 4:34

Oh my god! That's so nasty!

abadoo123 15

Saturday 21 November 2015 19:31

Time to shave

wellthisisntgood 19

Saturday 3 September 2016 22:46

I've never read anything that has made me violently cringe before, but that changed upon reading this.

lucasjames22 8

Friday 28 July 2017 15:50

Too many negative votes, comment buried

Show the comment

annomous420 2

Saturday 2 January 2021 6:58

it's called taking a shower

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Top

Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML

agreeclassic 42 909

vote type 1 10 083

Today, I checked into my flight early. The kiosk asked me if I wanted an earlier flight for $50. Awesome. I swiped my card then continued to the next screen where I was informed my new flight was delayed to the same time as my original flight. FML

agreeclassic 39 038

vote type 1 6 013

Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML

agreeclassic 215

vote type 1 620

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

agreeclassic 46 085

vote type 1 11 506

Today, I was in gym class with my crush. We were running around until she tripped over me. Now, she hates me, and says that I tripped her when everyone saw that she tripped over me, and she hates me now. FML

agreeclassic 950

vote type 1 199

Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for two hours. FML

agreeclassic 15 627

vote type 1 1 203