Today couldn't be worse. My boyfriend's libido isn't very high... - FML

Mother-fucking Nature - 26/04/2017 23:25

Today couldn't be worse. My boyfriend's libido isn't very high but mine is. He turned me down twice this week, but this morning was different. He was interested and we started the foreplay... only for me to realize my period started eight days early and I got blood on his sheets in the night. FML.

85

7

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! …

Zach Durgin 5

Tuesday 30 May 2017 20:21

So have at it anyway.

Zach Durgin 5

Tuesday 30 May 2017 20:21

So have at it anyway.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

47 859

6 170

Today, after shoveling one guy's steps, sidewalk, and driveway for two hours straight, I went to ask for my money. He said, "Work is its own reward!" and shut the door in my face. FML

32 558

5 884

Today, for the 20th time, I poured wine into my ashtray, while the glass was next to it. I also have the bad habit of tipping my ash into my drink. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I should look at what I'm doing instead of the PC screen. FML

106

1 314

Today, I started at a new college. I bought my textbooks and went to my first class only to find out that they changed my schedule without telling me. I'd already opened the book. I could not get $200 back. FML

3 681

352

Today, I got roped into work on my day off because the two new guys weren't showing up. My boss promised that I would get tomorrow off if I did, so I said okay. However, as soon as I came in and got all ready to go, guess who came in? FML

394

92

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "God told him to." What God didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

51 343

6 220