Health: They call him Mighty Force

They call him Mighty Force

By Stiny - 01/06/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

agreeclassic 32 306

vote type 1 15 647

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By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

agreeclassic 6 979

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Low blow

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 10:28 - United States

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

agreeclassic 65 076

vote type 1 31 060

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 04:37 - Canada - Kinburn

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

agreeclassic 45 594

vote type 1 10 843

By wrestling probs - 26/05/2015 02:24 - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

agreeclassic 29 778

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By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

agreeclassic 31 676

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By Pfff - 11/12/2008 10:40 - France

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

agreeclassic 23 430

vote type 1 8 136

Worst prank ever

By Dexter - 21/05/2023 18:00

Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML

agreeclassic 878

vote type 1 116

Dad joke

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

agreeclassic 28 490

vote type 1 2 858

Take that

By anonymous - 26/01/2010 12:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

agreeclassic 36 294

vote type 1 3 811

Jogging is bad for you

By Broken - 17/06/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

agreeclassic 33 942

vote type 1 6 764

ihasbrains 10

Wednesday 1 June 2011 23:53

At least it wasn't your balls

omfgTACOsYeSs 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 23:54

Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.

Comments

Rectov 10

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:16

How did you get a black belt if you can't do something as simple as block a knee. I'm a yellow belt and I can do that. Fyl indeed, my friend

animesushi 5

Saturday 30 April 2016 21:25

Taekwondo is more like Tae-kwon-don't, am I right? Hahaha it's a bs martial art ???

GetRekt123456789 8

Thursday 16 June 2016 7:26

If spelling is a self defense class, you would have a white belt in it.

nentenkupo 16

Sunday 7 January 2018 7:41

Holy shit, that 6th grader is the next Chuck Norris!!! FYL!

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Today, I found out my ex had been writing about our relationship to Postsecret. Apparently, she'd been sorry and wanted me back if I still loved her. I have absolutely no idea what she's talking about. I left after 8 months of unreturned texts, calls, emails, and meet-ups. FML

agreeclassic 943

vote type 1 96

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

agreeclassic 127

vote type 1 389

Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML

agreeclassic 28 788

vote type 1 20 706

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "That's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "Push a little harder" while dissecting a frog. FML

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Today, I was going to a big concert at my university. I paid around a hundred twenty bucks for my ticket. Outside the venue, people were handing out the tickets. For free. FML

agreeclassic 34 351

vote type 1 13 465

Today, I took my mother grocery shopping. From the opposite end of the snack aisle, she yelled, "They don't have my darkies! Ya know how I like my darkies!” She was talking about dark pretzels. I don’t think the appalled black couple next to me knew that. FML

agreeclassic 3 634

vote type 1 305