The soothsayer

By mustanggt - 23/03/2026 12:00

Today, we had a field trip to the local theme park. As I explained the safety rules, one of the students piped up with, "Yeah, I'm ditching you. Y'all are going to be the ones puking your guts up all over the place." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 45

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Same thing different taste

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 545

You deserved it 5 864

Get me out of here

By fraz206 - 18/03/2019 16:00

Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 179

Queasy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 18:00

Today, I tried being the 'cool parent' by taking my kids to a fancy, expensive amusement park, but ended up getting stuck on every ride and getting motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 345

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 296

You deserved it 3 263

By carl_carl_ - 13/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 847

You deserved it 2 205

In space no one can hear you fart

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Claymont

Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 654

Be unprepared

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 79

By Amanda - 02/07/2011 05:33 - United States

Today, I went to the carnival with a guy I like. When we went on the big scary ride where you flip upside down a lot, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Then, I threw up on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 638

You deserved it 4 746

By gross. - 28/04/2013 03:25 - United States - Greenville

Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 494

You deserved it 6 159

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being smart said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 346

You deserved it 3 570

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my son and I were arguing, and my wife yelled at us that the reason we don't get along is because we have identical personalities. She then kicked us out until we learn to get along, so we're sleeping in the freezing caravan, sharing a blanket that's only 6 feet wide and was last used for the cat to give birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 291

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 691

You deserved it 32 631

Today, my sister got married. For the second time. She's 30. Two men have loved her enough to cry over their vows to her. Every single person there asked me why I wasn't married yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 736

You deserved it 3 217

Today, I missed work because I was at the hospital getting treated for accidentally inhaling chlorine gas. I didn't realize that using Comet Industrial Strength Cleanser to scrub out a cat litter pan could be so hazardous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 552

You deserved it 25 991

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 439

You deserved it 123

Today, a brief survey of everyone I know revealed that everyone, including my parents, sibling, and best friends, thinks I'm gay. I had to do the first reverse coming out in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 464

You deserved it 480