Today, I accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow. It now looks like I'm trying to raise one without moving the other. FML
Today, I went to the drugstore to get supplies for my broken toe. Because of the swelling, I could only wear open-toed sandals on this cold day. At the store, a tall, heavy man in winter boots tried to get by me, and ended up stepping on the toes of my good foot. FML
Today, my daughter asked me if I could have the kids overnight, even though I’d babysat all day, all because she just got home and was too tired to make the drive to pick them up. She only lives two minutes away. I can see her house from my bathroom window. FML
Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML
Today, I got my 11-year old son the NERF Elite 2.0 Shockwave RD-15 Blaster that he has been begging for as his birthday gift. Guess who the primary target is. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML
Shave the other side. Pretend to be constantly surprised.
I can do that without shavin em