Family, Awkward, Scary and Kids: The big scary apple - FML

The big scary apple

By NYCproblems - 24/06/2013 14:06 - United States - New York

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 49 150

vote type 1 4 907

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Egg mode

By KillahCam - 26/01/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

agreeclassic 34 152

vote type 1 2 606

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

agreeclassic 53 858

vote type 1 3 996

By Darkness162000 - 08/01/2010 00:21 - France

Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML

agreeclassic 37 354

vote type 1 2 128

Great party

By Anonymous - 24/07/2024 19:00

Today, what should have been a nice family dinner ended with my wife standing over me, staring me dead in the eyes, while endlessly repeating, “Get him out of my house, get him out of my house…” until I agreed to take my drunk brother to a hotel to sleep it off. FML

agreeclassic 131

vote type 1 794

By brother love - 13/08/2010 05:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML

agreeclassic 38 779

vote type 1 3 935

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

agreeclassic 26 553

vote type 1 64 387

Freeloadin' freewheelin'

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 04:00

Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML

agreeclassic 1 159

vote type 1 93

Thanks for the input

By NVP - 18/01/2009 14:30 - United States

Today, I told my 10 year-old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

agreeclassic 26 496

vote type 1 3 821

Fed up, leave me alone

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 641

vote type 1 115

By SayCheese - 02/04/2013 22:52 - Canada - Prince George

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

agreeclassic 26 055

vote type 1 72 338

Next

TOP COMMENTS

babe7260 30

Monday 24 June 2013 19:01

Poor kid will be scarred for life

NavalAvaiations1 5

Monday 24 June 2013 19:03

when I was 10, I would have thought that was awesome!

Comments

alblynne 8

Wednesday 26 June 2013 10:14

Yikes! Ahaha

wackybulldog 9

Friday 28 June 2013 6:29

Childhood enhanced or ruined?

kilarbos 14

Saturday 6 July 2013 8:34

NYC - not even once.

___J11____ 16

Monday 18 July 2016 7:05

Was it the famous naked cowboy?

fullacrapallofyou 14

Tuesday 4 February 2020 20:28

Sounds like a queer.. who doesnt want to see a hooker

randybryant799 20

Monday 30 August 2021 23:06

He sounds like a very immature 10 year old. Send him home.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, a week after my girlfriend of 6 years checked herself into a rehab program 5 hours away, she called me and said I was too much of a toxic enabler and not good for her mental health, so she ended it and I have to move out before she gets home. I was going to propose when she came home. I’m completely broken. FML

agreeclassic 410

vote type 1 130

Today, after leaving a bar I fell asleep on the Q train heading home. I awoke at 5am in Coney Island, end of the line, to a cop poking me with his baton. He gave me a ticket for "Subway Vagrancy" even though I have a job and an apartment. He didn't ticket the homeless man next to me covered in piss. FML

agreeclassic 53 120

vote type 1 7 780

Today, I took a pregnancy test because I'd missed a few periods, gained weight, and been moody. Turns out I'm just fat and moody. FML

agreeclassic 50 611

vote type 1 11 673

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

agreeclassic 54 606

vote type 1 4 643

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML

agreeclassic 29 766

vote type 1 3 469

Today, I was making one of those microwavable pizza kits. Realizing I had no crushed red pepper to put on it, my mom suggested using a chili pepper she had dried. Thinking it was a great idea, I cracked it open on my pizza and out popped some fuzzy white mold and two maggots. FML

agreeclassic 1 695

vote type 1 266