Relatable and Drugs: Stoned

Stoned

By Stereotypical - 30/06/2022 05:00 - Brazil - São Gonçalo

Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML

agreeclassic 260

vote type 1 1 009

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Similar FMLs

Stoner

By Alyssa - 13/02/2012 00:01 - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

agreeclassic 11 850

vote type 1 83 250

By funnymanjoe - 14/09/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

agreeclassic 37 773

vote type 1 5 739

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

agreeclassic 30 849

vote type 1 9 737

By a.white - 11/12/2013 11:58 - United States - Cheltenham

Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML

agreeclassic 43 392

vote type 1 2 819

Coping

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 18:00

Today, I realized the only way for me to actually socialize is to smoke a joint. FML

agreeclassic 578

vote type 1 497

By Annomymous - 23/01/2015 18:12 - United States - Clarkston

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

agreeclassic 34 908

vote type 1 4 901

By Anonymous - 16/08/2019 06:00

Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML

agreeclassic 693

vote type 1 2 661

By Mellamononeyobiz - 13/01/2016 02:10 - United States - Hooper

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

agreeclassic 21 174

vote type 1 1 637

You hypocrite

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

agreeclassic 37 084

vote type 1 6 569

Suspicious

By HtotheFtotheS - 03/04/2015 19:05 - United Kingdom - Wisbech

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

agreeclassic 28 186

vote type 1 3 834

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 30 June 2022 13:11

And 90% of your vocabulary is "Wow" and "Dude?"

wysegirl 24

Thursday 30 June 2022 11:02

So fix your situation. You've realized your issue. Now what are you going to do to change it? it's you're choice to repair your life.

Comments

wysegirl 24

Thursday 30 June 2022 11:02

So fix your situation. You've realized your issue. Now what are you going to do to change it? it's you're choice to repair your life.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 30 June 2022 13:11

And 90% of your vocabulary is "Wow" and "Dude?"

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML

agreeclassic 13 225

vote type 1 44 778

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

agreeclassic 107

vote type 1 509

Think outside the box!

agreeclassic 455

vote type 1 97

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

agreeclassic 28 319

vote type 1 9 467

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

agreeclassic 33 013

vote type 1 2 796

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

agreeclassic 34 194

vote type 1 4 221