Embarrassing, Cigarettes and Health: Smoking is so cool

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

agreeclassic 10 901

vote type 1 61 561

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Right back!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

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fmylifedam 0

Monday 2 May 2011 16:23

don't smoke then

xxxInsanexxx 9

Monday 2 May 2011 16:24

Burn! Get it? Yes? No, bad pun? Sorry.

Comments

luciegeri 12

Sunday 12 April 2015 23:55

Don't smoke! Problem solved.

Sonotsuave 35

Saturday 13 January 2024 13:19

How have you made it this far lol

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Today, my friend told me that he was having a Scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special Scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in, everyone was playing beer pong. FML

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Today, my dad's car door was frozen shut. As he was in a hurry, he asked me to force it open. When I did so, the door slammed into his back. hard. Now he can barely walk, even with a walker, but he needs to walk in order for it to improve, or else he may become wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life. FML

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Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML

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Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

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Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

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Today, it's Fathers Day. Both of my adult daughters called me… from their stepfather's house. FML

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