Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 456 You deserved it 3 840 Share Tweet Share
Today, I discovered that my band section had misspelled my name as "Joke" on our section poster. On purpose. It's supposed to be Jake. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 625 You deserved it 818
Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML I agree, your life sucks 31 771 You deserved it 2 832
Today, I attempted to go on holiday but when my passport was scanned it triggered an alarm. Apparently I’m a wanted man for several crimes in Majorca. I’ve never once set foot in Majorca. You’d think my passport information would tell them that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 151 You deserved it 112
Today, I went for an eye exam. The doctor asked me to read the chart on the wall and without even thinking about it, I started to call out the letters using the NATO phonetic alphabet. Nope, my time in the military has had absolutely no effect on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 654 You deserved it 206
Today, my wife’s single friend got drunk at my Master’s graduation party and went a long-winded rant about what a good partner I am. I’d be flattered if the fusing of praise of me with single person problems didn’t come off sounding like a jilted lover. We’d only met twice pre-party. FML I agree, your life sucks 742 You deserved it 119
Today, I was reduced to a blubbering mess at my baby shower. My mom bought tons of clothes, bibs, etc. Sounds nice right? Well, they all had sayings like "Daddy’s Little Princess" and "Daddy’s Girl." She knows full well my fiancé quit his job, changed his number, and disappeared without a trace 3 months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 081 You deserved it 137
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?