Jailbird By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 09:00 - United States Today, I asked my foster parents to adopt me. They said no because my dad's getting out of prison soon. FML I agree, your life sucks 472 You deserved it 51 Share Tweet Share
Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML I agree, your life sucks 17 766 You deserved it 24 652
Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 531 You deserved it 2 444
Today, I tried to jump through the closing train doors to make it in on time. I missed. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 821 You deserved it 27 654
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 980 You deserved it 3 476
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 192 You deserved it 6 445
Today, I was wearing a cute black dungaree dress with a purple top underneath. I thought I looked pretty good, until my son told me I looked like an evil Minion. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 398 You deserved it 348