Kids: Germ warfare - FML

Germ warfare

By kallens - 17/01/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

agreeclassic 24 803

vote type 1 2 558

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By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

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By carl_carl_ - 13/07/2015 15:10 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was on a roller coaster behind a boy who vomited in front of me as the cart shot down. It splattered all over my arm, and a little on my cheek. FML

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By -.- - 20/09/2013 23:58 - United States - Lakeside

Today, while riding the bus, the person next to me broke into a coughing fit. Fortunately, he covered his mouth. Unfortunately, he used my arm. FML

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By humanshield - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Rockland

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

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By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

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Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

agreeclassic 40 424

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By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

agreeclassic 13 102

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By Tiff676 - 16/08/2009 04:31 - Canada

Today, I was working at the theater as an Usher. A man comes up to me and gives me his ticket. At the same time, he takes a sip of water and suddenly felt the need to sneeze. The water came out from his nose and landed all over my face. I was covered with his mucus and had to wish him a good movie. FML

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By Ren - 27/01/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

christopherlove 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 22:48

That's assault. I would have drop kicked the little ******.

Narelon 12

Thursday 30 May 2013 12:18

I absolutely HATE dealing with shitty little brats that don't bother to cover their mouth / nose when they cough or sneeze.

Comments

stabbed1ntheback 0

Sunday 7 August 2011 10:03

I think that means he likes you

brayrox33 6

Sunday 29 January 2012 17:33

Ugh shut up you whiny little orick!

eman1972 4

Thursday 10 May 2012 19:13

That just goes with the territory. Thank God you didn't have to give a mouth to mouth resuscitation.

feelingfree27 7

Friday 5 April 2013 23:17

Wow. How is this an fml? He coughed in your face oh my god!

Silly_Lilly6969 23

Thursday 23 May 2013 17:16

Germs!!!!!

Narelon 12

Thursday 30 May 2013 12:18

I absolutely HATE dealing with shitty little brats that don't bother to cover their mouth / nose when they cough or sneeze.

noobienick 19

Sunday 19 January 2014 22:48

This is exactly why I hate kids.

Baller_Bob 17

Thursday 20 March 2014 3:13

Idiot boy

fantasyworld 37

Sunday 16 August 2015 1:12

Parents need to teach their kids to cover their mouths when they sneeze/cough.

fryebaby623 14

Friday 13 November 2015 7:51

apparently his parents need a manners course and teach him how to cover his mouth. gross.

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Today, after going down on me and dry humping me in bed, my boyfriend told me he was having second thoughts about me while I was away for a few days. Apparently, he spent time with my best friend who set us up. She asked him to hypothetically propose to her. FML

agreeclassic 1 782

vote type 1 178

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

agreeclassic 1 514

vote type 1 208

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because, "It's chicken, not salmon." FML

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Today, while my boyfriend and I were eating ice cream, he put his arm around me and began leaning in for what I thought was a kiss. Instead, he grabbed and began jiggling my stomach fat, along with making raspberry sounds. Once he was done, he did the same to my thighs. FML

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vote type 1 8 009

Today, I wore a new shirt I was really pleased to have bought. As soon as I put it on, I noticed it was a bit tight, but I thought it would stretch out. By the end of the day, I looked like I was wearing a sausage casing. My coworkers couldn’t stop laughing. FML

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vote type 1 402

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

agreeclassic 30 065

vote type 1 3 392