Accident and Health: Fore! - FML

Fore!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was skating with my friends when I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was, "Look out!" I now have twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

agreeclassic 58 446

vote type 1 8 946

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By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, I was out skating with a guy I really like. I put on my best moves, to impress him. I ended up slicing his lip open with my skate mid-jump. His lip is now wired shut by twelve stitches. FML

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Brained

By Qwizzyk - 24/04/2024 17:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I was riding my scooter at a skate park. I was wearing a helmet, but I got hot, so I took it off. Within the next minute, I fell off my scooter and cut my head open. I had to get four stitches. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/05/2013 20:33 - United States

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

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The name of that old man?

By thisblows - 11/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

agreeclassic 26 433

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By Anonymous - 03/02/2010 20:04 - United States

Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML

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By horp - 29/09/2015 22:00 - United States - Torrington

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

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By Zizi - 04/07/2015 13:18 - Norway - Mosj?en

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

agreeclassic 29 701

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By anonymous - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

agreeclassic 5 906

vote type 1 73 135

By skating101 - 08/12/2009 02:32 - Canada

Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML

agreeclassic 10 893

vote type 1 29 109

Next

TOP COMMENTS

glassjaw_90 0

Monday 6 July 2009 12:25

See, smoking almost killed you.

DoomJeff91 2

Monday 6 July 2009 14:43

So who ended up throwing the brick further?

Comments

sharkwkrox 0

Saturday 7 May 2011 3:26

LOL

garfield224 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 18:59

Number 113. Your an idiot.

hipposrock101 6

Saturday 2 July 2011 15:21

hahaha that's wut u get for smoking I guess xD

beastwill64 16

Thursday 7 July 2011 19:46

this never would have happened if you did not SMOKE!!!!

Muwahaha_fml 4

Friday 29 July 2011 1:53

Ydi for smoking

trittykitty 7

Friday 2 September 2011 21:17

It's a sign to stop smoking

baden18830 5

Sunday 2 October 2011 4:59

lol YDI, karma smote you.

sorrowevicteon 9

Tuesday 20 December 2011 9:34

Cigarettes kill in mysterious ways...

laxrat1 1

Wednesday 21 December 2011 6:24

That's a winnable lawsuit. I hope they paid for your medical bills and pain and suffering.

rotflmao14 0

Tuesday 7 February 2012 13:57

Don't smoke :P

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Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

agreeclassic 46 547

vote type 1 5 526

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

agreeclassic 534

vote type 1 82

Today, I was dismissed from my job for my poor absence record. I'd not received any formal warnings, and was dismissed on the spot. My absences were because of my disability. He didn't even ask for medical records. FML

agreeclassic 1 016

vote type 1 171

Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML

agreeclassic 41 000

vote type 1 2 866

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

agreeclassic 397

vote type 1 123

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

agreeclassic 41 681

vote type 1 8 666