Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... agreeclassic 575 vote type 1 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML agreeclassic 29 729 vote type 1 3 855
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML agreeclassic 5 585 vote type 1 437
Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML agreeclassic 21 583 vote type 1 66 708
Today, I visited my girlfriend in the preschool she's interning at. She asked me to continue reading The Little Mermaid to her class, handing me the book. After the story, the whole class started to cry. She never told me to sugarcoat the ending and lie, Disney-style. FML agreeclassic 3 308 vote type 1 608
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML agreeclassic 60 242 vote type 1 2 951
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML agreeclassic 27 762 vote type 1 5 414
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.