Thief, My ex and Miscellaneous: Break in - FML

Break in

By Luke - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out, then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 359

You deserved it 2 634

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 409

You deserved it 60 631

Messy

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 09:00 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 120

By xnickx - 16/04/2009 14:47 - United States

Today, I changed the locks on my apartment so my crazy ex girlfriend couldn't get in. I went to her house to return her house key. I accidentally gave her the key to my new locks, and can't find her old house key. Now I need her to come let me in to my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 699

You deserved it 58 951

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 676

You deserved it 2 163

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 213

You deserved it 1 734

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 963

You deserved it 3 130

By racello13 - 02/11/2015 15:26 - United States - Baldwinsville

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 486

You deserved it 1 821

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 836

You deserved it 4 083

On the hook

By phansmootchie - 20/12/2011 08:14 - United States

Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 320

You deserved it 37 500

By XYZee - 22/08/2012 20:27 - United States - Rockmart

Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 2 011

Next

Top comments

NNOTCHO 23

Thursday 10 September 2015 18:16

You should change locks in case she made copy's

Miss_Chevious 37

Thursday 10 September 2015 18:29

Am I the only one admiring her vengeful creativity ?

Comments

eggs and cheese 8

Thursday 27 February 2020 10:56

what a bitch

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Work Exhausted Mental health Teenagers Health Embarrassing School Miscellaneous Art Painting Cute Kids Awkward Clumsy Love Dating Cars Transportation Painful Delivery Annoying Gross Video games Gamers Family Cops Mysterious Poopoo peepee Food

The Top

The Top

Today, my teacher marked a test question wrong, even though I was sure I got it right, so I went online to check. I found a government-approved website showing proof that my answer was correct. My teacher still counted it wrong, because, "We follow the book." That book's older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 876

You deserved it 899

Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 2 970

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 903

You deserved it 4 805

Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 361

Today, my 17 year-old reacted with shock and horror when she learned that a single utility bill can amount to more than 200 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 164

Today, I found out the guy I've been in an exclusive, serious relationship with for the last twelve months has been using online dating apps for the past three months, but it's "only chatting" and he doesn't consider it cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 120