Nearly FMLs

By doesitmatter - 05/12/2018 20:53

Today me and my now ex-gf of 3 years who's been treating me like shit for the past year finally broke up and has left me empty. I've just graduated and depressed. Later my parents told me how successful my friend is and after confronting that I overheard them saying how big of a failure I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 5

By RogiBear - 05/12/2018 20:50

Today I was asked if I would be able to make it to a funeral... for a grandparent I didn't know existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 19:32 - New Zealand

Today I woke up to find my kitten had not only taken a massive shit in my shoe but then proceeded to walk through it and then all over my brand new white sheets and duvet...FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 9

By Eh.. - 05/12/2018 15:31

Today I was randomly checking my browsing history and validating it's clean and I ended up finding various sites I can only attribute to my mother. That would have been bearable, but I only cleaned my history and started browsing incognito last week. She probably saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 04/12/2018 10:13

Today, i walked in on my girlfriend having sex with a coworker, she told me to trust her more, I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 7

By StinkyBelly - 04/12/2018 10:11

Today I've been vegetarian for just over a month. I also have zero warning when I need to use the bathroom. When I woke up for my morning poo my housemate was in the shower: I had no time to ask him to leave, so I had to literally shit in a bag. In my bedroom. Over a towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 32

By Andrea Trevor - 04/12/2018 07:12 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I thought I could hold it in long enough to open my front door. I couldn’t. There is now a puddle on the front step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

By Kashia - 04/12/2018 05:03

Today, I finally found a ride to go pay for and pick up my prescriptions. When I got home, I grabbed the mail. What arrived Today? My prescription insurance card. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 11

By ApparentlyARebel - 03/12/2018 20:09

Today, I got test anxiety and forgot everything once again. Got home and told my parents, obviously upset, and they yell at me and blame it on my tv and computer all while telling me that I don't do anything. I only use my computer for online assignments and I study at least 6 hours a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 3

By Kanzz - 03/12/2018 19:47

Today in my school all my friends recieved some or the other award. But I, inspite of being the most active member of school was not given anything. Idky but I am really feeling bad. Moreover, I have entrance exams for college in a month and I haven't studied a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 69

By Thatguy - 03/12/2018 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to have a sperm count done. My wife informed me her Dr said I needed to provide the sample at the facility which was not true. The office staff blushed and a phlebotomist almost died of laughter. I went home and returned with a sample only to learn a phone call later they didn't do that test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 4

By SG - 03/12/2018 08:00

Today, while fooling around on the floor during a shower, my husband’s knees gave way. He was stuck on top of me while I felt like I was being tortured via waterboarding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 6

By "mellowyellowbaby" - 03/12/2018 00:02

Today, I tried to be a mature adult and did one of the hardest things I had to do and broke up with my really sweet boyfriend that I don't have a future with and now he's been guilt tripping me all night and accusing me of never caring about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 13

By Propmanager - 02/12/2018 23:12 - United States - Beaverton

Today I had to give an eviction notice as they have not paid rent for 2 months. They have 4 children and have to leave the day after Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 7

By Bill - 02/12/2018 17:19

Today, I found another dead scorpion in our kitchen. I went to scoop it up to throw it away, only it wasn't dead, just pretending. It stung me, I dropped it and it ran under the oven. My wife thinks I deserved to get stung. She doesn't believe that I wasn't playing with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 5

By yourwifelovesme - 02/12/2018 10:09

Today it’s my sisters 21st birthday. I went to pick her and a friend up at a bar. I parked, went in and left not 5 minutes later and my car was towed. I went to get it back and discovered those assholes ripped the front lip off my car. Then on the way home her friend puked in my backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 5

By MyRoomSmellsLikeFart - 02/12/2018 09:53 - United States - Cranford

Today, after almost week of constipation, I took a laxative. I then had excessive farting for days. Now, I've moved on to a new stage. Explosive diarrhea. I'm not sure how I still have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 02/12/2018 05:40

Today while working in a hospital I split my pants down my butt. A female co-worker said this made her want to give me a hand job. Then five surrounding female co-workers began laughing hysterically. I was the only man present and I think I was just sexually harassed in the workplace...FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 02/12/2018 03:01 - United States

Today I have a cat who wants to watch everything I do, so she knows how to open and push doors, but she also knows how to unplug my lamp out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 2

By Tallshadow - 01/12/2018 23:14

Today, my debit card has been hacked and so I can only use cash until the new one arrives in the mail. I can't withdraw cash at the bank because my ID expired and I'm still waiting to receive the renewed one (which I paid for weeks ago, I might add). Basically, I can't access my bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 4

By Max - 01/12/2018 16:35

Today I got into a fight with my mom because she thinks I'm wasting too much time getting over my depression. She thinks that because I have gone to therapy for 1 year I should be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 3

By SadPotato - 01/12/2018 06:12 - United States

Today at work I was helping a customer and he paused, looked me up and down, and told me I was one of the ugliest girl he had ever met... I was just recently rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 3

By hurt_shins - 01/12/2018 02:01 - United Kingdom

Today after my shower my boyfriend came in the room and picked me up from behind. He took a step forward and I thought he’d drop me on the bed so I pulled my legs up. Instead he planned to drop me straight down but because my legs were pulled up i fell down on the bedframe with both my shins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 01/12/2018 01:08 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got yelled at by my family because the food I ordered for dinner has not arrived yet. Not only did they make me order, pay, and call to complain, but they had to pass this place on the way home from work and wouldn't stop because they had to pee. The bitching won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 11

By TGIFridayFunTimes - 30/11/2018 22:27 - Finland

Today, I was planning on having a nice time at a friends b-day party after a stressful week. I'm currently at the ER getting heavily medicated for sudden stomach pains... FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 2

By Embarrassed Guy - 30/11/2018 20:42 - United States - Green Bay

Today, my girlfriend of two years just texted me my name in full caps, which I ask her to clarify. Turns out the doctor asked if she did cupping because they saw "bruises" on her back because of her open back shirt. She says no, but her mom is sitting with her and glares. I am so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 12

By Bride-Groom Hell - 30/11/2018 18:08

Today, my fuck buddy from college decided the day of my wedding was right time to break her silence and declare her for me in a Facebook message. This would have been fine, as I have no feeling for her and haven’t spoken to her in years. The problem is my future wife runs my Facebook for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59

You deserved it 42

By Renee Tuff - 30/11/2018 15:14

Today, i went to my second doctors appointment to get my test results back to see whats going on in my vagina. They didnt know what was happening and gave me really strong antibiotics anyway. I cant taste anything but chemicals and drinking water makes it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 4

By Sapphire Layos-Wagaman - 30/11/2018 12:58

Today... I found out that thanks to my ballet career when I was a teenager is the cause for my joint pain. Some days I struggle to even sit up due to the pain. I am only 22...FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 8

By Lovealltigers - 30/11/2018 03:09

Today, we found out the results for my grandma’s cancer test. Not only does my grandma have skin cancer, we found out my grandpa does too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, I rode a skateboard down a street past a busy two-story outdoor cafe. As I rode by, a group of people thought it'd be funny to kick stray pebbles at my wheels, trying to make me trip. It worked. My backpack ripped open in the process letting all my school-work float away in the wind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 1 947

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 027

You deserved it 8 732

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 323

You deserved it 4 075

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 377

You deserved it 4 030

Today, after being kicked out of my racist family, my boyfriend and I moved across the country to rent an apartment with my sister. My mother hates us so much she offered to buy my sister a new car to not take us in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 546

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 187