Your everyday life stories

losertransboy - 06/05/2016 05:39 - United States - Katy

Today, I have a headache because I'm stressed and i'm stressed becauss i have a headache. FML

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midnightaffray - 06/05/2016 04:29 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I put toner into my friend's hair for her...without gloves. Now I have to go to a fancy dinner looking like I've masturbated a blueberry. FML

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calculated - 06/05/2016 04:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for my stat final, my calculator died. I fortunately had a spare. Thirty minutes before my final, that calculator died too. FML.

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Typ30ne - 06/05/2016 03:51 - United States - Ozark

Today, I discovered that my laptop gets hot enough to cook meat. That would be fine and all if it wasn't my thighs it burnt the skin off of. FML

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pussy pictures - 06/05/2016 03:38 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, I'm so broke, I sold a picture of my cat to a magazine for 35 dollars. I'm basically exploiting my own pet for money. FML

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preggo - 06/05/2016 03:26 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I told my boss I was pregnant with my first child. He paused, started at me for a couple of minutes and then went back to work as if nothing happened. FML

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Getyourprioritiesstraight - 06/05/2016 03:23 - United States - New York

Today, my friend posted on Facebook that she bought her oldest daughter a tablet. This would be fine if she hadn't messaged me three weeks ago asking me for money to pay for the motel that she and her kids were staying in because she couldn't afford to stay there. She also doesn't have a job, FML.

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theR4nger - 06/05/2016 01:36 - United States - Austin

Today, I realized that I get excited by notifications on Twitter going off, making me think that people want to talk to me FML

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kuby0308 - 06/05/2016 01:12 - United States - Hayfield

Today, I found out that the Xbox One that I got for Christmas was stolen and sold to me. Now I have to get it back to the original owner and the odds of compensation are slim to none. FML.

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FeelingUnimportant - 06/05/2016 01:05 - United States - Clinton

Today, my boyfriend missed another big event in my life. He always claims he can't come because "he's busy" doing what? You have no job. FML.

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carly_eb - 05/05/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, my small dog walked up to me with a guilty face. I immediately shouted that she was a pooper and went to investigate. I cleaned up half of her poop, the rest she had already eaten. I cleaned up the other half about 30 minutes later when she threw up liquified shit on the carpet. FML.

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UnchartedWaters - 05/05/2016 22:36 - United States - South Richmond Hill

Today, I ran into my crush who I previously asked out, but didn't know she had a boyfriend months prior. Trying to set the record straight that I'm not that kind of guy, I explained had I known of the boyfriend, I wouldn't have asked her out. Her boyfriend recently passed away, I didn't know. FML

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404- Voicemail not found - 05/05/2016 22:28 - United States - O Fallon

Today, I received a call from an unknown number during school. Knowing that my phone's voicemail had not yet been set up, I rejected the call. After spending an hour setting my voicemail up, I found out that it was my employer for the pool I'll be working at this summer. FML

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Anonymous - 05/05/2016 21:57 - United States - Vienna

Today, I realized I'm completely infatuated by the guy I've been talking to. I've been in denial for weeks because his name is also my brother's name. Every time I think of this guy, I remember my brother, which in turn makes me feel gross. My brain is confused, frustrated, and disgusted. FML.

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Well_Rested - 05/05/2016 21:57 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, I was finally able to get a good nights rest for the first time since starting my new job 3 weeks ago. Today I am also looking for a new job because they decided they didn't need that position there anymore. FML.

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urgent business - 05/05/2016 20:11 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my boss told me he'd send someone to supervise my patients so I could go use the bathroom.. It's been 5 hours since then. FML

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AnnieRose111 - 05/05/2016 20:01 - Finland

Today, I finished a project that I have been doing for over two weeks. It had over thousand words in it and I really did try to make it as good as possible. So, I was about to show the project to my teacher, when I noticed, that it was all gone. I didn't have a copy of it. Guess who got a F. FML.

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Kotlopou - 05/05/2016 19:53 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I accidentally pressed some button on my PC's monitor and a blue line appeared in the middle of it. I've already tried everything. It only caused the monitor to become black for a few minutes. FML

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Anonymous - 05/05/2016 19:12 - United States - Macon

Today, I made it through airport security early and decided to take a dump for the first time in a few days. I was letting it rip until halfway through when I heard a woman's voice talking to her children. Suddenly, all of the sanitary napkin signs made sense. I got death stares on the way out. FML

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nolife - 05/05/2016 19:09 - United States - Eatontown

Today, I finally achieved a goal that has taken me years...to clear all the rows at once in a game of Tetris. It was very anticlimactic but I was excited to tell people, then I realized I didn't have anyone to tell that would actually care. FML

Hugh Jass - 05/05/2016 18:59 - United States - Terre Haute

Today, It was getting late before I heard my front door open and I assumed it was my roommate who was gone. I continued to lay in my bed for about 10 minutes waiting for him to say something like he usually does, before he walked in the back door and told me he just got home. We live alone. FML.

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anonymous - 05/05/2016 18:56 - United States - Miami

Today, a person in my health class mentioned that their niece, with four nipples, had nipples that were mosquito bit size. I jokingly said, "that's just the way I like them". No one was surprised, my entire class already thought I was a pedophile before I said this. FML

Anonymous - 05/05/2016 18:53

Today, I was in a good mood and had a balloon. Unfortunately, my bitch of an art teacher saw that i was happy with a balloon and decided to take it from me and pop it, just to make me feel upset. This is the person I've had to deal with for two years. FML

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ButWhatAboutMe - 05/05/2016 18:52 - United States - Menomonee Falls

Today, my boyfriend told me about a job he was offered. It's a huge pay increase but he would have to travel for months at a time. I asked if he was going to take it because he would have to leave a lot behind. He paused for a moment and then agreed he wouldn't be able to leave his videos games. FML

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CrispyPotatoes - 05/05/2016 18:22 - United States - Austin

Today, my professor was talking about people being stupid for playing games on their phone all the time. I was playing while he went off about it. He was looking at me the whole time. FML

anonymous - 05/05/2016 18:08 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I was on a first date. Things went well until I laughed so hard that I spit my drink all over his face. FML.

Zamas - 05/05/2016 18:07 - Germany - Braunschweig

Today my mom screamed at me that I should clean my room. She does this every time, so I cleaned it yesterday. When she entered my room, I explained and showed her, that everything was perfect. 5min later, she came back and threw my shelf to the ground, to say it's not clean. It was the 5th time. FML

Zepha - 05/05/2016 18:03 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, when I told my regional director that the managers should help more around the workplace, she told me that it wasn't thier job to work, it was to "manage". FML

Katie1921 - 05/05/2016 18:02 - United States - New York

Today was the first day I took off from school in 11 years due to the worst migraine I have ever had. I missed making icecream in Chem, Student Council baking for the whole school and a school-wide dance party during lunch. People are saying that it is the best school day ever. FML

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anon - 05/05/2016 17:49 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, my girlfriend said she couldn't hangout with me because she has to order clothes for her work. I asked her how long it would take and she said 15 min. She leaves for 2 months tomorrow. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The most frustrating sound ever.

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Today, after training for 3 months for a marathon, three weeks from race day I tripped and fell during my last long run and cracked a rib, so I took ten painful days off. I decided to go try a short run to see if maybe I could still try the race, and got attacked by a German Shepard. FML

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Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML

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Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML

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Today, a guy cut me off on the freeway, so I followed him, intent on confronting him. He turned off and went down a side road… right to the gate of a government base, which opened. I did a U-turn and hauled ass, only to get stopped by cops and grilled relentlessly. FML

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Today, my school sent me an email saying I would be transferred to another class this Monday. I told my mom about it. Turns out my drunk mom ran into my teacher at a bar and started berating her for being at the bar, instead of grading her “kid’s exam already.” I’m a high school senior. FML

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