Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 01:27

Today, I cried in the middle of class. It was quiet and nobody, not even the teacher, bothered to ask what was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 22

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 04/05/2018 00:36

Today, after 6 years and 2 kids together my husband still thinks I'll cheat on him because his mom cheated on his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 4

By Tineri - 03/05/2018 21:18

Today, my friend and her boyfriend are going out again after six months of being together. She told me she's written a nice poem detailing how they got together. They got together after he had sex with me and then didn't really bother to keep talking. She didn't mention that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 10

By ducky - 03/05/2018 17:12 - United States - Fraser

Today, while walking home in the rain, I slipped and fell on a used condom. There were cars around. They all seen and several beeped while laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 5

By Wm8103 - 03/05/2018 16:12

Today, after weeks of waiting I got turned down for a promotion that I was overqualified for because I missed a day. My manager approved the time off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 4

By "cheryl" - 03/05/2018 15:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, after 12 years of being an excellent tenant, I found out my asshole landlord wants the house back by the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 4

By "chameleonlover1" - 03/05/2018 12:50

Today, while I was in class I was pulled into the office for "cutting". My cat scratched my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 4

By InternetLapras - 03/05/2018 12:49 - New Zealand

Today, after a year of waiting, I finally found out the day of my well awaited surgery. The only problem is it's a few days after my birthday. "Happy birthday, here's surgery and a month in hospital, and an entire school term in a wheelchair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 7

By Pr3v10us - 02/05/2018 20:48

Today, my mom took me to the store. We shopped for a bit, but when it was time to leave my mother entered her items in the checkout and ditched. I'm 14 and she's not picking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 20:03

Today, I got hit by a car. The woman yelled racial slurs, threw an empty can at me, and raced away. I went to the hospital and afterwards called the police, but neither believed my story. So much for “pedestrians have the right of way”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 6

By Mom of a teenager - 02/05/2018 17:05

Today, after telling my teenage son who has been driving 6 months that I have a high amount of safe driver points, I got in an accident. It was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 40

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 17:05

Today, I met my girlfriend's family for the first time during for her birthday lunch. Turns out her aunt is the older women I was sleeping with before I met her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 36

By Friend? - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, my ex best of 9 years ended our friendship. The reason? I'm a bad person that has the potential to be good and I don't celebrate her enough. This is after I paid 1000 bucks for a plane ticket so that she can join me on holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 3

By James - 02/05/2018 01:15

Today, I dumped my boyfriend to ask out my crush thinking he liked me back. He rejected me and made it clear he didn't even want to be my friend anymore because I seemed too desperate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 136

By type2moron - 01/05/2018 22:58 - United States - Renton

Today, I checked my blood sugar (finger prick) to see if I could have a snack - turns out yes, I was good to go. One hand in the pickle jar later, I learned I should use my OTHER hand - even the smallest hole in your skin hurts like HELL in pickle juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 56

By thisreallysucks77 - 01/05/2018 21:39

Today, I found out I have been banned from Target because the other night, after a lot of drinking, I went to Target, opened the automatic doors and screamed “I am a god! I can open doors with my mind!" I ran around the store singing I’m Too Sexy and sped off before the cops came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29

You deserved it 82

By WellYaGottaBeKidding - 01/05/2018 20:53

Today, I woke up to find I failed to close my bedroom door all the way and my anxiety prone dog had left a steaming pile of Doo Doo on the floor. Not bad, right? Except looking for the light switch, I stepped right into it- barefoot. I’ve washed my foot multiple times and can’t rid the smell FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 10

By sadCowboysfan - 01/05/2018 17:54

Today, I relented and sent a dude on my baseball team the dick pic he asked for. Later, at practice, one of my teammates asked me to call him. When I did, my dick pic showed up as my contact picture and I realized I accidentally sent the pic to my whole team. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 93

By "Nefeli Const" - 01/05/2018 13:46

Today, I woke up at the sound of my parents arguing about my mom being pregnant. I have one older brother, which is 12 years older than me. My mum is 52 years old. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 4

By Brokenman - 01/05/2018 13:43 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months dumped me. The reason? I found out she had been seeing another guy for over a month and they are moving in together tomorrow. He's her drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 01/05/2018 10:47 - South Africa

Today, I had to strip and resilicone an entire bathroom while my husband sat in the car pouting because I called him a pussy. Doesn't that prove my point though? FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 23

By Lonelyhusband - 01/05/2018 08:29 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my wife once again did nothing. I asked her to mail a package for me, but she went to Costco and charged more and didn’t have time to mail it because she was "too busy" today. I worked 12 hours, came home, mowed the lawn, played with the kids, put them to bed, and now I get to sleep with her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 6

By Shakey - 01/05/2018 06:58

Today, I flew 7 hours across the country to visit my girlfriend. I sat next to a woman so obese that the majority of her rested on me the whole flight. To make matters worse, she pissed herself during takeoff and didn't get up for over 4 hours since she had to piss again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 6

By sataniioma - 01/05/2018 01:00 - Australia

Today, my mother and I got into a really big fight about me getting a job, which I can't do right now due to mental health issues. She hasn't had a job in over 20 years and just leeches off of the government or her boyfriend. She's perfectly able. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 13

By mycatisinnocentandsoami - 01/05/2018 00:27

Today, my dad decided to start punishing my cat because of my "progressive" ideals. Now, whenever she meows to go out he yells, "What?! You're a STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN. Open the door yourself!" at her until she cries and I let her out. My "progressive" ideals? Men and women were created equal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 16

By ChromoTec - 30/04/2018 17:35 - United States - Coralville

Today, I learned that my parents have no college fund set up for me. I also learned that my mom will not let me get a summer job to start saving for my college on my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 7

By Mike Murdock - 30/04/2018 06:46

Today, it was my birthday. I told my mom that I didn't feel like having company because I was feeling sick and in a bad mood. She then proceeded to invite three entire families and forced me to come out of solitude and spend time with them because "It's your party." FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 6

By Takegami - 30/04/2018 02:01

Today, I was with my classmates in a study session for finals. I felt a fart brewing and assuming it would be silent I tried pushing it out. Turns out, it wasn’t silent. The fart was so loud it surprised me, causing me to jump and fall backwards right onto my crush. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 47

By Fema - 30/04/2018 01:45

Today, I found out my female flatmate pleasures herself to the sound of me and my boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 29

By BluWay - 30/04/2018 00:02

Today, my sister shut my hand in the car door and my finger feels like it's broken (and it's crooked now). My sister's crying while my mom comforts her while all I got while I was crying was ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 3

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The Top

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 843

You deserved it 1 406

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 173

You deserved it 3 215

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 254

You deserved it 2 368

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 516

You deserved it 3 428

Today, I updated an e-mail I've saved to drafts and have been updating every day for the last few months to a girl I really adore. In this letter, I told her everything I ever kept from her. Instead of saving it to drafts again, I accidentally sent it. And she's online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 636

You deserved it 51 506

Today, as usual, my wife only wants to have sex to reproduce. As soon as she falls pregnant, the shop is closed. She doesn't care about my sexual needs, saying if I was really that horny, I should go sleep with some else. I'm not that guy and if I do get the guts to do so, I‘m afraid she will hold it against me, and take the kids and our savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 200