Pranks

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 02:20 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 523

You deserved it 7 107

Call center hell

By AndrewC - 14/02/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, while I was working at a call center, a customer was pranking me using an obviously fake Asian accent. He kept saying his name was “Phuck Mi”, his phone number was 666-3629 (as in "Sex sex sex free sex tonight") and making moaning noises and sexual phrases. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 142

It's fine, I'll wait outside

By I tried - 12/04/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, because the policy "no shirt, no shoes, no service" doesn't mention pants, my friends got the hilarious idea to walk into a store with no pants on. I tried to be reasonable and say they would get arrested, but they called me a "chicken" and did it anyway. Take a wild guess what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 225

Stop doing this

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 22:01

Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 93

Pranks are evil

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 838

You deserved it 1 664

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 044

You deserved it 3 369

Toot toot

By I…… - 10/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 92

Panic! In the Bathroom

By MAWZ - 19/07/2011 06:33 - United States

Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 773

You deserved it 5 170

Catfishing 101

By jquaw - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Brockville

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 255

You deserved it 6 317

Merde alors !

By Anonymous - 06/05/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a long overdue vacation to France with my husband and young daughter. As revenge for an earlier prank, my sister has apparently taught my daughter to swear profusely in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 9 383

Great reference

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after I'd asked my brother be my reference for a job, he made up some story about a 9-month contract, then the work was done so they told me not to come anymore. My potential new boss told me how big of a liar I was and how it cost me the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 609

See ya later

By myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my sister drove past me while I was walking home in the rain. She honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 238

You deserved it 3 607

By CarrieRedburn - 27/07/2011 08:09 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 541

You deserved it 2 889

Get that bag

By Anonymous - 13/06/2023 06:00

Today, I find it somewhat amusing that I pranked my wife into believing my cousin copyrighted some tech he sold to Microsoft and became a millionaire, and less than 24 hours later my cousin called me asking to know why my wife was trying to slide into his DM’s with nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 387

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 222

You deserved it 3 767

Great idea for a prank

By Lordy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

I agree, your life sucks 13 892

You deserved it 2 575

Boob inspector

By Anonymous - 12/07/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband's latest attempt to torture me was to point out that in every animated kids film like Encanto, Moana, and so on, that somewhere behind Disney's walls is an animator who has to animate the characters boobs and how they bounce when the characters walk. I can’t unsee it; so many films. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 31/03/2014 17:15 - Japan - Takarazuka

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he called "liquid ass." I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 572

You deserved it 3 088

Get back here!

By matte - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 056

You deserved it 4 990

Drama!

By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 850

You deserved it 3 671

Pranked out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 14:30

Today, I pranked my friend and started a fake fight. However, she opened up and admitted to doing a bunch of stuff. We've now stopped being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 143

Tachycardia

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 04:00

Today, after a three day hospitalization, four weeks of a new heart med, no alcohol and no caffeine, my heart rhythm was finally back on track. That is until some a-hole teens decided that banging loudly on my door and running away was hilarious. Oh well, back to square one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 108

Didn't see that one coming

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 12:00

Today, as a prank my brother handcuffed me to the pole in the bus and ran out with my phone. The bus driver couldn’t hear me upstairs, so I was driven all the way to the end of the line, and without my phone I couldn’t even pay the fare for a return trip. I had to walk 7 miles home in heels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 111

Tasty

By souped - 10/12/2009 05:41 - United States

Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I took a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted something rotten. Turns out my grandma knows I drink her soy milk, so she swapped it with expired chicken broth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 698

You deserved it 42 710

To be fair, Crocs deserve it

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 03:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was at my boyfriend’s locker during lunch. He shares a locker with my ex. I thought it would be funny to joke around with his Crocs and pretend to cut them. The Crocs cut. I’m now suspended, and I owe my ex a new pair of Crocs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 1 656

Where am I?

By awalc - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with Skittles superglued to my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 276

You deserved it 6 164

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was walking when I saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realized a kid was laying them out in a trail. I'd collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 078

You deserved it 22 160

Just a prank, bro!

By fail - 16/02/2011 23:16 - United States

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 578

You deserved it 68 157

High school is hell

By Ani - 17/12/2021 10:58

Today, a "friend" of mine decided stealing my very low amount of sticky notes repetitively to make origami and show off was okay, even though I had repeatedly asked her to stop. Then, when I snapped, I was the bad guy, and everyone who was around started stealing my pencil case to get them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 227

Wrong place, wrong time

By Julia86 - 20/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I got to work early to set up a prank for my coworker Cathy. I wrapped everything on her desk in aluminum foil, including individual paperclips. As I finished, my boss walked in, pointed at the desk, and said, "Great work, but that's John’s desk. He’s out sick today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 719

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The Top

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 210

You deserved it 274 645

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 648

You deserved it 5 234

Random

Today, a man attempted to sue my business for giving him food poisoning. I make soap. When I called the cops on him for disturbing the peace, I was told, "Maybe next time you'll put 'not edible' on your label." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 561

You deserved it 3 757

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 166

You deserved it 23 017

Today, I asked my mom if she could include mashed potatoes and gravy with dinner. She then went on to yell at me about my "unhealthy eating habits" and how I've "gained a lot of weight in the past few months". I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 031

You deserved it 4 205

Today, I was excited to see my ex-girlfriend. We had broken up while I was in Iraq and I wanted to try to get her back. I spent my first day back looking for a place to live while her and her new boyfriend got it on as I slept. I had chosen that apartment for us and paid for that bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 924

You deserved it 5 833

Today, I called my mother to say hi. She spent a whole hour and a half complaining about how I never call her, bawling and calling me "a waste of human flesh." I call her at least once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 135

Today, I was reminded of my ex who works and now lives in Manama, Bahrain. How? My sister and her in-laws called me a heartless dick for not being worried about her. We broke up 15 years ago, she's a pediatrician and an OB-GYN, and the ONLY reason why they care is because they used to get free services and meds from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 90