Parents

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 2 849

Creepy

By JustClaire95 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 121

You deserved it 16 525

JustClaire95 tells us more.

JustClaire95 13

Monday 17 March 2014 16:48

I'll prob just wear jeans from now on. Though it'd be funny to see them react to a mini skirt lol!

The Watchers

By Anonymous - 03/06/2023 15:00

Today, my in-laws just bought the house opposite. They were bad enough 50 miles away but now they’re here all the time. We’ve had to start locking doors and diving to the floor every time we hear our front gate open. Even then they try to open the door and stand in the garden for up to 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 133

My pleasure, lady

By Semius - 08/05/2019 05:00

Today, I saved a young girl from drowning in a hotel pool with no lifeguards on duty. The girl's mother was too busy on her phone to notice what was happening, and when I called out to her, she started yelling at her daughter for going in too far. Never bothered to thank me for saving her kid either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 169

Grounded

By Cerise - 05/03/2022 18:00

Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 470

That's not how that works

By Bruce - 09/02/2023 14:00

Today, my alcoholic father volunteered that he was cutting back on his drinking… by switching from gin martinis to vodka martinis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 100

Best day of your life

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 00:01

Today, I don’t usually ask much from my dad because I know how incapable he is but after two years delaying my wedding due to Covid restrictions, I thought I could at least ask him to stay sober long enough to walk me down the aisle. More fool me I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 139

Growing old

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 19:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I'm officially stumped as to whether my mom has early-onset dementia, or if she just has plain bad memory. I've considered having her get tested, but I shudder to think that the person who brought me into this world won't recognize me in about two years if I'm right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 126

My little girl

By I'm an adult! - 02/07/2015 19:16 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 724

You deserved it 4 503

Quarantine stress

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 11:01

Today, my mother complained all day while I'm trying to work from home. I started getting chest pains from the stress of everything having to be perfect or she has one of her meltdowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 122

Fortunate Son

By Anonymous - 03/05/2012 23:35 - United States - Wichita

Today, I had a look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 988

You deserved it 1 968

Mr Whiskers takes priority

By Anonymous - 07/12/2021 16:58

Today, my daughter forgot my birthday. When I asked her, she said she'd remembered my birthday, but was too busy at work to acknowledge it. However, she did have time to post a message on Facebook, wishing a happy birthday to her cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 137

Sociopath time

By i…… - 14/04/2022 14:00

Today, my son’s mother is dying. He told me he feels “nothing at all” because of it. The reason? “Sometimes she punished me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 208

Swindled

By Anonymous - 05/04/2022 18:00

Today, I found out that a two-day job I helped my dad do for his old friend was actually a job for a real customer, who paid my dad £4500. All I got for my two days work was coffee and Co-op sandwiches for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 144

Noise annoys

By Breathy - 07/09/2022 00:00

Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 157

Saving

By Anonymous - 08/11/2022 12:00

Today, my mother went out of her way to, over completely trivial bullshit, wake me up early on the only two days of the week I don’t have to wake up at 4:30AM, drive an hour both ways, and work my fingers to the bone for twelve hours straight. This is why I’m so soul-shreddingly desperate to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 154

Villain backstory

By Sadrainindeed - 09/12/2023 18:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had a really shitty fight with my dad. We were standing in front of each other, screaming and yelling. Everything gets so complicated and annoying when it comes to him, and I vividly have some deep daddy issues which affect my everyday life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 172

Time to leave

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 707

You deserved it 171

Humorless parents are the worst

By druglord - 28/06/2020 14:10

Today, I asked my parents if I could have their old Polaroid camera so I could take artsy pictures, but they got all defensive, because, "Polaroid pictures can’t be traced." So I jokingly said I was using it to take pictures of my drug cartel to have a record of my stocks, and now they think I’m some sort of drug lord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 519

My way or the highway

By Why are you still my father anyway? - 03/11/2021 06:00 - Mexico - Chalco

Today, whenever I call my father on the phone he never answers, but if I ever ignore his calls he wishes me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 92

Cough up

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 01:00 - United States - Ontario

Today, I'm 36 years-old, living with my parents, in debt. My mom always wants to solve my problems by giving me money, which she later claims as "borrowed", so now I'm highly in debt with the bank… and her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 471

But my grandbabiiiiiiies!

By Anonymous - 21/09/2021 02:00

Today, my mother was sneaking through my underwear and found my condoms and the bills from the hospital where I had my IUD inserted. She then started yelling at me, saying that I didn't have permission to not have children and that, "I get to choose, not you." I'm 28 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 203

Judge Judy

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 20:01

Today, my mother refuses to acknowledge my girlfriend and refuses to accept the baby she is carrying as her real grandchild, all because my girlfriend has tattoos, which apparently makes her a "whore", so the baby could be from any other guy except me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 185

Impatience

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 151

What if God was one of us?

By This is why people are abandoning religion. - 05/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my parents have been slowly coming closer to figuring out that I'm an atheist. They've stated to me and my siblings since we were old enough to think independently that if any of us turned out to be atheists, they'd disown us. I'm not sure what to do here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 193

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 10:30 - India - Kolkata

Today, I'm watching another teen TV show, taking me back to my childhood, which sucked in a million ways, being the poorest and ugliest nerd with an evil father. I never enjoyed a day of my childhood, teenage or school. Grades were a life and death situation, because education was the only way out of that hell hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 164

Get it off your chest

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 17:00 - Taiwan - Hsinchu

Today, my parents are the most toxic people I've ever met. They don't allow me to go outside, they decide what I eat, who my friends are, chastise every fucking little thing I do even when it's so minor you could just forget about it in one second. The biggest shame in my life is encountering such toxic people like them. I HATE them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 199

MILF Manor

By daughter - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Vårgårda

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 2 387

A more innocent time…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Hillsboro

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 235

You deserved it 3 432

Thanks dad

By Anonymous - 06/06/2021 06:01

Today, my fiancé told me that my dad apologized to him that I hadn’t inherited my mother’s chest size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 136

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 905

You deserved it 2 285

Today, I was trying to walk in heels. My mom then started cracking up, saying I looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk just after coming out of the womb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 235

Today, I hit my boss's car. It's only my second day on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 291

You deserved it 10 301

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 212

You deserved it 3 768

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 257

You deserved it 3 187

Today, I had an interview to be a waitress. Afterwards, I had food in the restaurant, which is where I overheard my interviewer tell the manager he wasn’t going to bother hiring “that girl I just interviewed” because "her face is nasty and she’ll put the customers off their food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 116