Miscellaneous

By totallyembarassed - 07/07/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 014

You deserved it 28 802

What day is it?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I caught my dad smoking the weed he grounded me for having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 399

You deserved it 1 282

By _RaeRae - 18/11/2014 09:26 - United States - Argyle

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 400

You deserved it 7 868

_RaeRae tells us more.

_RaeRae 6

Tuesday 18 November 2014 19:24

I didn't have enough room to elaborate on my post. it was spur of the moment on my part too. boyfriend is in the oilfield and they needed him up and moved ASAP. so she new a week after I knew. I just needed a week for it to set in.

By Acidic Donut - 30/06/2013 23:48 - United States - Brookfield

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 723

You deserved it 8 955

By Anonymous - 11/03/2015 15:26 - United States

Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 763

You deserved it 3 126

Expert level

By badadvise - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Mexico - Guadalajara

Today, I found out my marriage counselor is currently going through her second divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 2 673

By Jessika - 07/08/2009 09:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I finished a ballet class with a group of seven-and-unders. Afterwards, a new student's mother came up to me and thanked me, saying she was glad that her daughter had a "role model with a, ahem, fuller figure" and "not to worry about my weight." I have never thought I was fat before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 632

You deserved it 3 899

By future MIL slasher - 23/09/2012 21:05 - United States - Rindge

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 033

You deserved it 2 186

Badass

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, my little sister beat me at arm-wrestling. I'm a 15 year-old boy and she's 12. It happened in front of our entire extended family and they all laughed hysterically. I tried to act like I let her win, but the truth is that I was trying as hard as I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 229

Fair and balanced

By Sorry Dad! - 09/05/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my family has begun preparations for my dad's birthday party. We figured out that the closest date that will work is the fifth of June. Also today, I got a letter in the mail. I have jury duty. Take a wild guess what day it's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 93

By Bekah - 04/07/2011 13:24 - United States

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 649

You deserved it 4 450

By trooper93 - 18/01/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 966

You deserved it 4 867

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 560

You deserved it 5 367

By flipraff101 - 14/10/2009 09:20 - Australia

Today, I was at home and my boyfriend called me and said that I'd left my G-string at his house. I only have one G-string and I was wearing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 086

You deserved it 2 773

Unstable

By emancipate me - 15/05/2016 19:59 - United States - Knoxville

Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 272

You deserved it 1 483

By thepokemonkid - 27/02/2013 05:03 - United States - Avon

Today, I finally made a Facebook account after being home-schooled my entire life. I friended people that I know and their friends, and subsequently sparked a debate on whether or not I exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 334

You deserved it 4 159

By Bookworm - 05/06/2013 17:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the tram, when an elderly couple got on. I stood up to give them room to sit together, but as I stood up, the tram set off and I went flying, knocking the elderly gentleman over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 951

You deserved it 4 393

By Venus - 13/03/2014 22:28 - United States - La Crescenta

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 247

You deserved it 12 554

By meh - 18/01/2012 05:21 - Canada

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 177

You deserved it 3 046

By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 08:24 - United States

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 931

You deserved it 6 740

By asdfBUTT - 06/03/2012 01:36 - United States

Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 489

You deserved it 32 217

By wtf - 16/06/2016 06:02 - United States - Fairfield

Today, my best friend was walking next to her crush, so I pushed her into him gently as a joke. She ended up stepping on his foot, which caused him to fall and crack his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 289

You deserved it 5 925

By masterman - 27/08/2012 06:45 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 2 955

This is not good parenting

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, and for the past week, I've been incredibly on edge because apparently my dad is kicking me out but I don't know when, and my mom has told me I'm not allowed to tell anyone. She then got mad at me because I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 93

By phonebaby - 18/11/2014 01:04 - United States - Stamford

Today, my friend asked me to order take out for him because he gets nervous on phones. I called a Chinese restaurant, only to get nervous, and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 609

You deserved it 7 665

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 101

By dumb4$$0rz - 23/12/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, the grades for one of my courses were released. The class average was higher than that which the department allowed, so the professor had to scale everyone's marks down to meet the policy. I ended up failing because my class was too smart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 254

You deserved it 6 230

By xobeachbabi428ox - 18/07/2009 22:32 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 224

You deserved it 7 987

Party time!

By Kate - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom said we are having a party for the 4th of July. Her definition of a party is my grandma coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 178

You deserved it 4 087

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 486

You deserved it 3 841

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 491

You deserved it 3 360

Today, I received a two-page letter/rant from my boss notifying me of my imminent dismissal, based on issues such as me "speaking in a suppressed voice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 140

Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 972

You deserved it 4 437

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He did it over Snapchat because he said he didn't want to hear me sad over the phone and wanted to save data. Three years down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 372

You deserved it 2 197

Today, it's been one week since I went to get my birth control renewed. It also marks 16 days until I get the half that broke off in my uterus removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 117