Growing old

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I'm celebrating one year of retirement. Also, almost one year of recovering from a broken leg, quickly followed by a broken hip. I may never walk correctly again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 114

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, if you asked me how old I felt, I’d say in my late eighties, with beginning dementia and some sort of terminal disease. Unfortunately, I’m only 41 and my doctor claims there is nothing wrong with me whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 136

Sensitive subject

By Anonymous - 28/07/2023 15:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm 55 and I've been with my 61 year-old hubs for 32 years. He has next to no sex drive. When I asked him to tell me what is attractive about me, he said I'm nice, witty, easy to talk to. I asked what physically is attractive about me. He said, "You're not gross and you're not obese." He then got mad at me when I started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 436

Getting on

By Lexxxiii - 17/06/2021 06:01

Today, I realized that every time I play video games, my wrist and elbows always end up hurting so badly from holding my controller/handheld games. I always have to apply bengay and wear braces. Arthritis is creeping up on me harshly, and I’m still young so this sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 451

It's called getting old

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 00:01

Today, and since the pandemic started, I have gained back 80 of the 150lbs I painstakingly lost via diet and exercise in the 5 years leading up to the pandemic. Despite trying multiple methods that worked before and some new ones, I cannot seem to stop the weight from piling on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 212

Nearly Halloween

By boo - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Gainesville

Today, I'm old enough to be looking at houses to buy, but not old enough to get past the idea that they might be affordable because they're haunted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 839

You deserved it 6 416

Picky

By Anonymous - 09/07/2022 22:00

Today, the girl I would have risked my life to shag in highschool got in touch and was clearly fishing for a date, but in the past ten years, she’s been in prison for arson, become 10 stone overweight, a chainsmoker with a visible moustache, and 6 kids with 4 men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 249

Happy together

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 03:00

Today, I finally reached the age where me just being alive annoys my wife. She asked me during a movie if I “have to breathe like that because it’s so damn annoying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 179

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 08:01

Today, it's the second day my wife hasn’t been to work at all, because a cashier called her ma’am instead of miss. Apparently, it’s the first time this has happened and she’s so upset that she might be visibly growing old that she’s been in bed for two days crying. We’re both only 27 years-old, FFS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 172

Balancing act

By KittyT - 26/02/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, my physio told me that due to my illness, roller-skating is too ambitious an activity. I grieve who I used to be, and the life I used to be able to live… FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 78

Old school

By Anonymous - 18/05/2023 10:00

Today, our internet is down so I told my daughter to watch a DVD instead. She looked at me dead in the face and asked what a DVD was. To think I even remember VHS tapes. Damn I’m getting old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 156

Many such cases

By Homunculus1 - 21/10/2022 14:00

Today, my wife admitted she loves me as a father to our children, but is no longer attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 109

Old soul

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 16:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I realized I’ve become an old woman. I have dentures, wear bifocal glasses, have rheumatoid arthritis, carry a stash of candy in my purse, and got excited when I bought a new potato peeler. I’m only 29, but I’m an old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 164

Night predator

By Gwen - 28/06/2025 15:00 - Russia - Rostov-on-Don

Today, I'm a 40+, aging, ugly woman with bad skin, and gaining weight. In the middle of the night, the cat landed on my face, clawing it so badly that it left actual scars. Just purrrfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 148

Growing old gracefully

By OldBitch - 16/08/2020 02:01

Today, I realized my breasts look like sweat socks and my ass is sagging so much, it slaps the back of my legs. My neck has grown three chins, and I have put on 40 lbs. Yes, the golden years are here at last, and they can certainly kiss my ass. Happy 50th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 536

Livin' la vida loca!

By Mike - 07/08/2022 18:00

Today, I realized my life is very similar to my dad’s, except I’m only 55 and he’s almost 80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 237

No friends, no problems

By Anonymous - 10/05/2023 18:00 - Ireland - Waterford

Today, I realized the only things I do are work and sleep. My only friends are coworkers who I make small talk with. I live alone so I’ve got nothing there either. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy, or spoke to someone. Everyday is just a blur. I have no hobbies, no goals. Getting older is so fun, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 287

It's the thought that counts

By Not a day over 35 - 18/06/2013 13:06 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 723

You deserved it 5 838

Welcome to middle age

By Daisy - 23/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out I've been adulting too long when I noticed that the bags at Smart & Final are shorter than the last time I was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 167

Midlife crisis

By Husband for sale - 02/06/2022 02:00

Today, I had to inform my midlife-crisis husband that the "weed" he had "scored" from his "dealer down the pub" was actually just a lot of mixed herbs. He refused to believe me and smoked it anyway, I mean, I'm only a chef in a restaurant, what do I know about herbs? He's still coughing by the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 131

Classic story

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 23:00 - United States - Wilton

Today, I’m getting so old that the local radio station that plays the “old classics” is playing songs I listened to in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 180

Letting yourself go

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 150

The tedium of everyday life

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Banning

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 154

Act your age

By Anonymous - 17/03/2022 10:00

Today, we're finally at an age where my wife will try to negotiate how old she has to admit to being. It’s ridiculous. At her last doctor's appointment, she was asked her age, she’s 52 but claimed to be only 40, and I had to argue her up to admitting to 48. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 126

It's all downhill from here

By Brenna - 17/11/2021 10:59

Today, I woke up realizing my 40th birthday is on Sunday and I’ll only have about 40 more years to live after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 276

Getting on a bit

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 12:00 - Germany - Leer

Today, I’m at that glorious age where I have to pull apart my wrinkles to get at the zits hiding inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 116

It's not me

By LDF - 25/12/2008 10:30 - France

Today, I was sitting in a train when the old lady sitting next to me started staring at me. I asked her if she was OK, and she exclaimed, "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?" The entire train trip went like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 2 028

Time comes for everyone

By So old - 22/07/2026 03:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my favorite band from my teenage years was played on an oldies station on the car radio. To make matters worse, my sixteen year-old niece who was in the car, had never heard of them. I’m only 31, but damn, I feel old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 136

Stewart Lee has let himself go

By Emmmsie - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my new passport arrived, along with my expired one and its 20-year-old picture. I was comparing the photos when my husband came to look. He laughed and said, "Time is cruel." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 684

You deserved it 592

Old memories

By Will T - 01/09/2021 01:01

Today, I pulled a groin muscle. While cleaning the cat litter box. The last time this happened, I was playing high school football. 40 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 126

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Frustration NSFW Sex Growing old Intimacy Fire Love Awkward Customers Annoying Work Kids Relationship advice Break-ups Video games Gamers Parenting Health Ecology Insects Painful Friends Pranks Garden Cats Neighbours Animals Technology Geek Weird

The Top

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 758

You deserved it 18 603

Today, my 9 year-old son actually thought he could blackmail me for money and an Xbox with a very badly photoshopped picture of me in bed with Hermione from the Harry Potter films. My wife thinks this is hilarious, but I’m worried if he’s doing this at 9, what will he be doing at 18? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 250

Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 98

Today, I don't know what to do. I like my BFF, and I really don't know what to do. I want to confess my feelings for her, but I don't think she will like me back because we're only supposed to be friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 193

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 225

Today, my father found out that his estranged dad wasn't in jail for driving into a bus lane of people. He just divorced his mum, moved to Kent, and started a new family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 77