Fire

Baby you can drive my fire engine

By nzfireman - 04/09/2017 13:00

Today, while going into the fire station for a call out, I opened my locker door on our only available driver and knocked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 972

You deserved it 414

Bye bye

By ThatTrafficCone - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the Fire Department found my car overturned in a ditch and on fire. It was two miles away from where I parked it about three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 534

You deserved it 2 398

Burning through money

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 13:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold… and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 840

You deserved it 3 915

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 1 292

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 635

Teacher's pet

By Anonymous - 26/10/2022 02:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, I managed to lose my engagement ring, and damage my car. But that was a cakewalk from what happened later, when a teen student tried to set fire to the classroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 123

Lint kills

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 00:00

Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 118

Robby Krieger rubbing salt into the wound again

By No time to wallow in the fire - 08/07/2022 16:00

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 157

Welcome home

By evilsandwich - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - London

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 737

You deserved it 2 194

Fireball

By Anonymous - 03/07/2022 22:00

Today, I went into work to finish one last task, but decided to also have a fire in the pit. I grabbed the wrong can of fuel and ended up taking a fireball to the face, singed the hair on my head, arms, and I have to shave my beard off… Well, what’s left of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 044

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 1 192

Idiots, idiots everywhere

By Annon - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 173

You deserved it 2 562

Panic in the streets

By Insane Guy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 638

You deserved it 8 072

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 666

Our house, was a very very very nice house

By Anonymous - 06/03/2020 18:00

Today, my house caught on fire. After it was put out, I realized the damage wasn't bad, mainly smoke damage. I went to my parents' for the night because my house smelled. While there, I received a phone call from my neighbor. Apparently, my house caught fire again. It's now a pile of ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 319

You deserved it 263

Wipe out

By Rick - 24/05/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 107

Teddy

By Anonymous - 03/06/2021 08:01

Today, I thought babysitting my nephew would be easy. WRONG. He put his wet teddy on the space heater to dry, and caused a fire. While I was putting the fire out, he decided to wash his burnt teddy in the sink, which blocked the plug and flooded my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 282

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 922

You deserved it 60 321

That shirt is FIRE!

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 04:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my shirt caught on fire when I was burning paper for my ancestors at the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 365

You deserved it 381

Not the brightest star

By Anonymous - 30/05/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I watched on camera as my son tried to light a bonfire and set fire to my shed. Props to him, he ran to get my mini fire extinguisher from the car, but he pulled the pin then THREW THE EXTINGUISHER INTO THE FIRE. The dumb SOB thought mini extinguishers worked like grenades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 25/06/2010 16:12 - United States

Today, my friends and I were hanging out when we thought it would be cool to set off a few fireworks. Nothing burns quite like the hair on the left side of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 313

You deserved it 40 552

Human! Come quick!

By He got a lot of treats for that - 10/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 4AM to my cat clawing at my door and yelling at me. Normally I'd just wait until he stopped, but he was persistent, so I got up and opened the door to see what he wanted. He then corralled me to the laundry room. My dryer was on fire. Good boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 152

Pass the parcel

By KatnissEverdeen - 16/12/2021 14:01

Today, my fireplace caught fire. The landlord says renters insurance should cover it. The rental insurance says the landlord should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 82

Singed

By Bernice - 26/01/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I was showing my grandson how to blow out the candles on his birthday cake. I got a little too close and set my hair on fire. The candles remained lit but my grandson was too terrified to go near them after the whole ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 418

Yaaaaaay!

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 670

You deserved it 4 545

Mr Popular

By mcdman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 491

You deserved it 6 002

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 622

You deserved it 15 149

Mr Rogers

By JWhite - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 701

You deserved it 2 743

Trousers? Suit you sir!

By brebis - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, when I threw my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My pants got completely burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 418

You deserved it 72 841

Kitchen nightmares

By Masterchef331 - 01/02/2022 05:00

Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 652

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The Top

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 354

You deserved it 2 756

Today, Christmas changed my life. Last year I had a boyfriend to cuddle with on Christmas; this year I have a body pillow of an anime character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 453

You deserved it 7 410

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 547

You deserved it 3 572

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 044

You deserved it 6 002

Today, I told my mom that I'd vomited blood. She simply said, “Good” and went back to watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 118

Today, my wife kicked me out because I had a vasectomy behind her back. I'm 45 and we have five kids, three of whom have already left the nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 270