Family

Honest mistake

By Luke - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Liverpool

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 822

You deserved it 30 373

Animal lover

By fml9124 - 01/03/2021 02:00

Today, my 14 year-old daughter threatened to run away. Why? We live in southern Arizona. In the last week, she's found a dead tarantula and a live scorpion in her bedroom. In a couple of weeks it will be rattlesnake season. She's not liking the desert much anymore, where even the plants want to hurt you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 502

Merry Christmas, or not

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 05:02

Today, I got a quick COVID test and got a positive result. Christmas is in 3 days, my son and husband have to stay with my mom and Christmas is my favorite holiday. I've never been away from them this long and it is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 038

You deserved it 1 466

Weebs unite!

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I realised how much my family prefer my cousin than me. I love anime/manga, but my family never got involved, so it was very lonely growing up and I was bullied in school for it. Now I'm an adult, my cousin is into it, and they want me to take a interest in her so, "she has someone to talk and isn't lonely." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 201

Mistake or intentional?

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 04:00 - Australia - Petrie

Today, my newly installed Ring doorbell captured crystal clear footage of my wife sucking off my brother on my porch. With sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 159

Same joke, different year

By joleezad5 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Nixa

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 2 479

The joys of income inequality

By Loser - 13/07/2023 22:00

Today, after a risking my life on the way to Europe and saving every penny I made as an illegal worker to send home, I found out that my brother used the money to open a small business, get pretty successful, and is going to marry my all-time love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 313

Harsh

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 21:30 - United States - Coraopolis

Today, I opened my own flower shop. My mom's response was, "Get a job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 82

Loud and clear

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 93

Family man

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had to turn down a huge job promotion that would have meant a bigger salary and more benefits because it would have required me to move, and my wife and kids absolutely refuse to leave behind the farm we live on or all the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 248

Arseholes

By Anonymous - 15/11/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 120

Stop doing this

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 22:01

Today, my sister called me at work and told me our elderly mom had passed away. I dropped everything and rushed home, to find out she was fine, and that my sister was just pranking me. When I explained this to my boss, he accused me of lying to get out of work, and I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 93

Turned on

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 16:00

Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 257

Special family

By Anonymous - 13/07/2021 18:01

Today, my son has complex special needs, but apparently some of my deliberately ignorant relatives put no effort into learning more about his issues, and just call him "the retarded one" when they think I can’t hear them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 188

The war on Christmas

By Juan - 23/09/2026 00:00 - Mexico

Today, my older sister forced me to tell my nephews, 8 and 6, that Santa Claus does not exist, because she was recently fired from her job and is too much of a coward to tell them she will no longer give them any Christmas gifts for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 77

Drunken mess

By bethany - 03/11/2011 17:36 - Australia

Today, my drunk sister came in my room at 2 in the morning, sat on the side of my bed, fell off, knocked over my glass of water, which ruined my new phone, then got angry at me for getting angry with her. She then slammed my door, which made all the photo frames smash to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 580

Don't mention it

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 12:00 - United States - Verona

Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 824

You deserved it 95

Welcoming

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 15:45 - Australia

Today, I was having lunch with my fiancé's family. After he excused himself to use the bathroom, his grandmother glared at me, sneered, "I never liked you" and kept eating while the others smirked. When my fiancé returned, everyone pretended nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 103

You deserved it 8 360

Scythe control

By Auntie Katrina - 07/07/2026 03:00 - Philippines

Today, I caught three burglars in our house. I screamed, trying to get my husband and adult son to wake up. The burglars fled, badly wounded after being fought off by my skinny nine year-old niece with two gardening sickles. My muscular husband and overweight son were both still in bed, pretending to be asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 95

This blows

By Katie B - 23/09/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I received a rejection email from a brain cancer research charity to be a junior graphic designer with them. I'd forgotten about the application with them because after I applied, my dad became unwell and got diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 68

Hangry

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 22:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom has two workbenches in her basement. They are so cluttered, they have all but disappeared. Now that she’s actually building something, she just uses the chest freezer as a workbench. I’m hungry and my dinner is in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 128

Ewww, gross

By spekledworf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 916

You deserved it 2 089

Diversion tactics

By Anonymous - 19/10/2021 08:00

Today, upon getting the paperwork for my Court Diversion, I found out I had to write an apology letter to my brother. The brother who sent me to jail for trying to get him to stop abusing his girlfriend, and holding him instead of fighting when he charged at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 78

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 219

Grow up, the pair of you!

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 04:00

Today, my brother and I ruined our mother's birthday by fighting. She's 76, we're 55 and 54 and yet still unable to comport ourselves like adults. She yelled at us and then "showed me" by eating the dish he made but not mine. I reverted to teenage coping tactics, dissociating like a boss, and hiding in my room. Worst family visit ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 1 059

Paperback Writer

By AmatureLitCritic - 14/05/2012 07:37 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 343

You deserved it 2 387

Don't mind me

By Anonymous - 01/10/2021 17:01 - Lebanon - Beirut

Today, my grandmother passed away recently, and I moved in with my mother to support her. My two uncles and my cousin (a technician, photographer, and a theologist) who are in a joint venture wanted to discuss business. I felt like a loser, waiting in the other room, while they sat in my Management Consultancy office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 157

Slumlords

By beccaboo_96 - 21/10/2024 00:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I found out that my house has termites and my family, from whom I'm renting the place, says I might have to move. I don't have the funds for that right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 82

Not the expected outcome

By Emm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family threw me a surprise party. I was so surprised, I punched my mom in the face when she screamed, "SURPRISE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 135

You deserved it 21 020

Golden child

By ohhaithur - 26/07/2019 02:00

Today, my mom accused me of stealing $350 from her. She didn't accuse my unemployed brother, who just bought a brand new iPhone. Even after he confessed to her, she thought he was covering for me. My brother has a criminal record for theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 856

You deserved it 127

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The Top

Random

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 535

You deserved it 3 904

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 181

You deserved it 3 774

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, being blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 274

You deserved it 10 584

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 671

You deserved it 133 987

Today, my boyfriend accidentally synced his contacts to my phone. I'm not sure who I want to message first, "Amber (Big Ass)", "Kayla (Baby Girl)", or one of the other 64 with similar descriptions in parentheses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 379

You deserved it 133

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617

You deserved it 104